Sane Insanity
by VeridianSoul
Summary: Months after a brutual attack from Road Allen has awoken to insanity. Every day is a mystery filled with many broken pieces. Will the help of a certain red head be what Allen needs to heal? Light, cute, and fluffy LAVEN!
1. Chapter 1

**~Hey everyone! I'm back with a D-Gray man fanfic that I hope you all like. I am open to constructive criticism! :) I hope you enjoy! I don't own D-Gray man!~**

Months have passed after the last attack from the Noah. The search for the Heart has continued but so has my Bookman career. When my innocence was restored Bookman and I left immediately to continue our recording. Even though it is against the Bookman lifestyle, I still find myself missing everyone back at Head Quarters from time to time. When I had left, everyone was still severely injured and Allen had still been unconscious. The poor boy was beaten brutally and Road had managed to get her hands on him. I still remember the horrifying screams and the dead look in his eyes as he fell to the ground, splattering blood across the floor. I haven't seen him since he was in his hospital bed shivering violently. To my dismay, Bookman made me leave soon after.

Suddenly my thoughts shattered as I heard Lenalee's voice through the golem I had managed to snag before leaving. Her voice sounded worried and sleepy as if she'd been busy. "Hey Lavi is this a good time?"

I smiled brightly, pushing my books aside. "Yeah sure what's up Lena?"

"Well…Komui wanted me to request you and Bookman to come back. There's an emergency."

My heart dropped at these words and all my thoughts suddenly shifted to Allen. "What's wrong? Is Allen there?"

"Well…it's about Allen. He woke up a few days ago but he's…different. We need your input because it's not good. I don't know how to explain it to you." Her voice cracked and I could almost hear the tears as she spoke.

"I'll get Gramps and we'll head back okay. We'll be there soon."

"Thank you Lavi. Hope to see you soon I-" Suddenly her voice cut off into a scream as a loud bang and the crack of glass echoed through the room. "I have to go Lavi. Allen!-" The broadcast cut off just as the sound of glass shattering filled the silence.

My heart beat a million miles a second. What the hell is going on at the Order! I quickly got Gramps and headed out as soon as possible. I relayed all the information to him and he stayed silent. I could already tell this wasn't going to be good.

Upon arrival at the Order I quickly ran into a frantic Lenalee who was taking off down the hallway in a sprint. I grabbed her arm and stopped her, then saw the panicked look in her eyes. "Lavi not now! Come with me!" She ripped herself from my grasp and activated her Dark Boots. I quickly pulled out my hammer and followed closely.

Blood splattered at my feet as I turned the corner and saw my best friend frantically trying to escape the grasp of the hands trying to pull him onto a bed. "Allen calm down it's okay!" Lenalee placed herself in front of Allen and tried to calm him down. All she received was a snarl and hands around her throat as Allen suddenly freed his arms.

"Allen!" At the sound of his name his head shot up and my heart stopped. His eyes gleamed with insanity as he continued to shake Lenalee violently as hands clawed at him to release her. I quickly lifted my hammer and knocked Allen off her, who in return turned his sights on me. Within seconds Allen had crouched and pounced at me. I barely had enough time to dodge before he grabbed me with Crown Belt. In one swift movement I was thrown against the wall as Kanda distracted him with a horde of demons from Mugen.

"Moyashi! Knock it off!" Kanda quickly grabbed Allen and pinned his arms and legs to the floor.

Allen started shaking violently and looked up at Kanda with a hint of rage. "MY NAME IS ALLEN!" Kanda just smirked and lifted Allen's shoulders, smashing him into the ground. Allen's eyes became cloudy the more Kanda hit his head into the floor. I watched in silent horror at the scene that played before me and after a few more smacks Allen had grown silent and hazy. Slowly his Crown Clown's death grip released and returned to him.

Komui then showed up and slipped an unknown liquid into Allen's right arm. Kanda released the moyashi and headed off on his own. Allen's lifeless body lay on the floor, his chest rising and lowering softly with each breath. His eyes slid closed as the medicine took full effect, knocking the boy unconscious.

Lenalee sat up and helped the others get Allen to his bed. Her eyes were filled with sadness at the event. From her expression I could see that this behavior had been growing rapidly and was becoming dangerous. I took her hand and she led me out of the room as the clawing hands strapped Allen to his bed with belts. The white door closed silently as we were ushered out of the area.

As soon as we had gotten to a quiet place I turned with a serious expression on my face. "Lenalee what the hell is going on with Allen?" She bit her lip to hold back the tears as everything that had happened collected in her mind.

With a shaky breath she spoke. "As far as I know all his injuries have healed except for his mind. Road had gotten control and we think she shattered his sanity. He doesn't remember anything. Nothing is confirmed because we can't communicate with him without injuries." Tears spilled down her face as she looked me in the eyes with a pleading look. "I don't know what to do Lavi…It's killing me. I hate to see Allen this way."

I pulled her into a tight hug. "Bookman and I will search every book and do anything we can to restore Allen. I promise you Lenalee." She looked up at me with hopeful eyes and nodded, then proceeded to lay her head against my chest.

Thoughts swirled in my head as I continued to analyze today's events. I had long sent Lenalee to bed and retired myself but I just couldn't get today out of my head. With a sigh I stood up and left my room.

In my aimless walking I managed to find the white room housing Allen. Inside he was strapped to the bed still with many guards surrounding him. The sleeping figure stirred and opened his eyes slightly to peer at me. Grey orbs stared at my green one with such intensity I almost faltered my gaze. They were scrutinizing me, looking me up and down…almost as if he were analyzing his prey. Suddenly lips curled into a wicked smile as he decided on whatever he wanted. With a final glance I waved expecting no response. His right hand slightly lifted as he waved me goodbye, all unnoticed by the guards.

After a short walk to my room I fell asleep. My last thoughts before unconsciousness claimed me were, _maybe I can fix him…just maybe._

**~I promise other chapters will be longer. I needed to get this out before I ran out of time again haha. Please review!~**


	2. Chapter 2

**~Thank you so much for the positive feed back already! I couldn't believe I already had a review XD Thank you so much timcanpy's pen for the very first review ever! (I love your username btw!) I hope all of you continue to like this story. I believe this one is a little longer and I will continue trying to make them a lot longer whenever I have time. ~**

Sunlight protruded through the blinds straight to my eyes. Rolling over I opened my eyes to my alarm clock blinking 10:00 A.M. I had slept in way longer than I had hoped to. With a sigh I managed to push myself off the bed and head towards the bathroom for a shower.

Hot water cascaded down my body invigorating all my senses. It's been a long time since I've been so relaxed. I sighed gently and ran a hand through my wet locks. Dark red hair weaved around my fingers almost like blood dripping haphazardly down my hand. Unconsciously I was reminded of yesterday when that blood had splattered at my feet. Allen hadn't injured anyone until Lenalee. That blood had to be from him! Quickly I shut the water off, flinging a towel around myself and through my hair. In a matter of minutes I was dressed and sprinting through the halls towards the white walled room.

Upon arrival I pressed my self to the glass creating an audible smack. Suddenly a bob of white hair sitting on the floor flicked its attention towards the glass obviously startled. His grey orbs seemed to be shaking as he peered at me through the glass. His entire form seemed to be shaking as he stared at me with wide eyes. He looked so vulnerable compared to what I had seen yesterday. That menacing look and evil smirk had been replaced with an aura of nervousness and uncertainty.

When he turned his attention back to his hands I tentatively tapped on the glass. The hands that were fiddling with the bottom of his white shirt suddenly froze as he tried very hard not to move. After a moment of observing I tapped again causing him to jump. Without warning he quickly slid himself to a corner of the empty room and hid.

"Quit messing with him Lavi. There's nothing you can do that'll get the Moyashi back to his normal state." Kanda appeared out of the shadows with a smug grin on his face. "You can't solve the world's problems Lavi, let alone Allen's."

I turned my gaze back to the form sitting in the corner. "Believe what you want Kanda. I just know that I can fix Allen. I can feel it." Allen nervously peeked through a fringe of white hair showing just enough of his face that I could clearly see the red scar cascading down the left side of his face. I sent him a smile which he quickly hid from. With a frown I pushed past Kanda to look for Lenalee.

I found her sitting in the cafeteria pushing around the food on her plate with a fork. "Hey Lenalee good morning." She looked up at me with a soft smile.

"Good morning Lavi. Sleep well?" Her gaze shifted back to her untouched food that she aimlessly pushed around.

"Not really, no. Looks like you had a rough night too." In response all I received was a nod. We proceeded to sit in silence for half an hour until she grudgingly gave up pushing her food around.

"Want my food Lavi?" I shook my head as she pushed it towards me.

"No thanks I don't feel like eating." My stomach was so in knots if I tried to eat I was sure I'd throw up.

"Neither do I." We both stood up and walked out, Lenalee throwing away her food as we went. After about a minute of walking Lenalee sat on the floor in the middle of the hallway sniffling slightly. Her knees came up to her chest as her hands wrapped around them comfortingly. "Lavi…what are we going to do?"

Sighing, I sat next to her and threw an arm over her shoulder. "I don't know Lenalee." She nodded her head and continued to cry into her knees. "I'll find something I promise. First I'll need a bit of information okay? I'm going to go to Komui's office. You go to your room and try to get some rest okay." Once again she nodded and headed off the other direction toward her room.

With a quick push I managed to get myself off the ground and to Komui's office. I stepped in and sat down in the provided chair. "Komui I need to talk to you."

A small frown appeared on his face as he sat down. "You want to know everything we know about Allen don't you? Well I guess I can tell you. He had been in a coma ever since the attack with Road. When he woke up he instantly started attacking us and yesterday was the first time he managed to break the glass. He randomly goes through phases from no threat at all to maximum security within seconds. He does have sense though because he refuses to eat or drink anything. We think he is afraid that we will give him some sort of medicine which we have done. That shot you saw me give him was a mix of nutrients and calming sedative." His eyes landed on mine searching for some sort of hint that I would understand. Oh, I understood but I wasn't going to have any of that.

I quickly stood up and slammed my hands down on his desk causing him to jump slightly. "What are you thinking Komui! Ever think he attacked because he was afraid? He's locked in a white room with no furniture, no human contact, and eyes watching his every move. If you were in his place I know for a FACT that you would be just like him. Anyone would! Don't you dare think for one second that you'd be any different."

After a moment of thinking he decided to calmly speak. "I never said I'd be any different but he's a serious threat Lavi. I can't just let him wander the Order like nothings wrong."

"If you haven't noticed we are ALL threats! You know very well that all of us are capable of killing everyone in this place if we wanted to." By now I was shaking with rage. Couldn't he see how much worse he is making Allen?

"Lavi you don't understand."

"Yes I do! I understand your making a mistake! I'm not going to sit and watch you do all this to my friend! He's a person not a lab rat." His hand nervously touched my arm attempting to calm me down.

"Let's strike a deal then Lavi. I'll let you into Allen's room and you can work with him personally. Be aware that regardless of what you say he is still a danger. Be VERY careful. Does that sound okay?" A security pass slid out of his hand and onto the desk quietly. He refused to meet my eyes.

"Thank you that's all I needed to hear." Smirking I grabbed the pass and left the room. Another great performance from me, even though I really did mean everything I said. I knew exactly where Komui was coming from but now I have everything I want and need to begin healing Allen.

After much persuading I got the guards to let me through. The door to Allen's room slid open with a metallic hiss as I stepped inside. Instantly Allen's body froze in terror as my steps echoed painfully loud as I approached him. I quickly checked to make sure I had my hammer before sitting beside him, causing him to scoot away. "Hey don't worry I won't hurt you. You saw me last night remember? I waved at you and you waved back." Allen quickly nodded his head "yes" which made me smile. "Do you know who I am?" To my dismay he shook his head "no". Swallowing up my sadness I continued to smile. "I'm Lavi Bookman. Your name is Allen Walker right?" I received another small, pathetic nod. "Glad to know you Allen." He looked at me cautiously and turned away again when he spotted my smile.

Nervously he played with the hem of his shirt. A curious and unsure expression was plastered across his face. "Hey Allen what do you think of this place?" He shyly shrugged his shoulders and slid a little farther from me. I stayed rooted in place to not scare him anymore than I already was. Suddenly I thought of a question that had been on my mind for a while. "Are you scared?" He paused for a second before slowly nodding and curling up into a ball on the floor.

To test Allen I slid a little closer hoping he wouldn't flinch. Out of the corner of his eye he saw me and quickly scrambled away on all fours. His eyes quickly scanned over me until he came to rest against a wall. Harsh coughs erupted and echoed through the room racking his frail body. A hand came to rest over his stomach and a pained expression across his face.

"Are you hurt Allen?" His eyes refused to meet mine as he looked away. I didn't receive an answer but the hand across his stomach gave him away. "Can I come over and check out your injuries? I promise I'll be gentle." This time I got frantic eyes staring at me while his head shook "no" violently. "Allen…I need to check your injuries. They could be serious." Suddenly a low growl escaped Allen's mouth and I held up my hands in surrender. "Okay okay I'll leave you be for now." Satisfied at my answer his growling stopped.

All these one sided conversations were starting to get old. Allen was responding thankfully but I'd prefer if he trusted me enough to speak. By now all he was doing was staring at me in silence as I sat against the wall on the other side of the room. I could feel his eyes scanning every inch of my body over and over again waiting for me to make an offending move. When he realized I wasn't going to get up he visibly relaxed and mirrored my position against the wall.

I smirked and caused him to frown. He obviously wasn't very happy with me being here but he wasn't about to talk to me. For all I know he could be plotting my death. I sighed and pushed myself off the floor. He quickly jumped and prepared himself to fight but I held up my hands. "Don't worry I know you want me to leave. I've been torturing you for hours with my presence so I'm going to let you have some peace alright? I'll be back tomorrow Moyashi!" I opened the door and I could've sworn I heard a small voice say "My name's Allen". I looked back to see him glaring at me as I stepped through the door smiling. Maybe this won't be that hard after all.


	3. Chapter 3

**~Heyyyyy everyone sorry for the lateness! Geometry has been a huge pain in the butt lately and I have a ton of catching up to do. Plus one of my fandoms (Shawol Forever! ;D ) has been keeping me occupied and distracted haha. I got more adds! I was so happy when I checked my email today! Thank you so much haha. Reviews make me happy! Thanks again timcanpy's pen! All your support is greatly appreciated :) don't be afraid to tell me if you feel I should change anything! and I thought I should warn you guys. I'm think about turning this into a Laven. It'll just be a cute fluffy one and nothing too graphic cuz ik for sure I can't write a lemon. I would like die XD Anyway thanks again enjoy!~**

I slipped into my room and pulled a video camera out of my desk. Promptly laying on my bed, I flipped it on. "This is day one of my attempts at turning Allen back to normal. So far there aren't any results at all. He's extremely jumpy and not what I expected at all after what I saw yesterday. This monster of a boy was practically turned into a nervous wreck who can't do so much as speak. His personalities are completely out of whack and I'm not sure what I can do. If I can get my hands on Timcanpy I might bring him in for positive reinforcement. I'm not sure about that one yet. We'll see how it goes." Running a hand through my hair I sighed and shut the camera off. I need to come up with a way to get Allen to eat. Those shots Komui gives him isn't helping with his trust issues. Maybe I should go visit him one last time before bed.

"Hey Lavi can I come in? I saw you walking down the hall back from Allen's." I got up and let Lenalee in, forcing a smile on my face.

"Hey Lena come to hear the report?" She nodded and sat down on my bed politely. "Well truthfully there isn't much to say. I'm not going to be blunt with you. He's absolutely horrible. He hates me going in there but he didn't attack me which is good." Suddenly her head snapped up.

"He didn't attack you? He attacks everyone who goes in there. When they strap him to the bed he fights until he gets knocked out then in the morning he chases them out of the room if they don't knock him out again." I stared incredulously at her. All of this was happening to Allen and Komui didn't inform me! Rage started bubbling inside my chest at this.

"I'm starting to really hate your brother…" I started tugging at my headband to help ease some of my tension.

"I'm not happy about it either but I honestly can't come up with anything." She looked me in the eyes and I faltered. I guess she's right but I do have an idea.

"I'm going to bring him food tomorrow and get him to eat. I've got it planned out already and it WILL work. I swear it will."

"Try your best Lavi okay? I have to go out on a mission but I want to hear all about it when I get back okay? I gotta get going so see you soon Lavi! Good luck!" Lenalee hugged me tightly and patted my back before leaving me in silence which resulted in an uneasy sleep.

Once again the sun blinded me with its offending rays when I opened my eyes. "So bright…" I sighed and got all my morning chores done before I headed down to the dining hall to get some food for Allen and I.

"Hey Lavi! What can I get ya darling?" Jerry flashed me a smile and got out a notepad and pen to write down my order.

"I'd like two trays please. One with waffles and orange juice for me and another tray with mashed potatoes, blue raspberry jello, chocolate pudding, water, and apple juice for Allen." His eyes lit up even more at the mention of the poor little Moyashi.

"Poor Allen I miss him. I hope he eats this. I'll make it extra special in hopes the cutie gets better soon." With that he was off cooking the food like a madman. Before I knew it two trays were handed to me. They looked as if they had been straight out of a magazine! I thanked the chef and sat at a table to quickly finish my meal before going to bring Allen his.

As I stepped into Allen's room violent coughs filled my ears. He was hunched over on the floor clutching his stomach and dry heaving. He looked so in pain then suddenly blood dripped out of his mouth and splattered on the floor. After setting the food down I ran to his side and held his hair back from his face as he continued to empty his stomach of crimson blood. He didn't seem to notice I was there until I put a hand on his back to calm him down and steady the tears that were falling down his face at an alarmingly fast rate. He quickly pushed out of my grasp but collapsed out of exhaustion.

"Shhh Allen shh I know what's wrong with you. Please don't fight me. Let me help." His eyes wavered as tears continued to slide down his face but he didn't move away. I pulled my scarf off from around my neck and dabbed at the corners of his mouth. Red stained the orange fabric of the scarf as I took both of his hands in mine to clean off the stains.

I looked up at him and noticed how pale and tired he was. "Shh Allen don't cry okay you'll be just fine." Dropping the scarf, I used my thumbs to gently dry away the tears dripping down his face. "I'll take good care of you. Just listen to me please." He looked at me and nodded nervously. "Thank you Allen you won't regret this."

I quietly stood up and made my way to the food, bringing it back with me. When I had gotten up he slid himself to a wall and was gently resting against it. "The reason this is happening is because you don't have anything in your stomach. Your arm is powered by food and without it it's probably trying to get power from you yourself. You need to eat something Allen. Those nutrient shots aren't going to sustain you for much longer." He stared at me like I was trying to poison him as I revealed to him what I had brought. "Here I brought you some apple juice, mashed potatoes, blue raspberry jello, and chocolate pudding. Not necessarily the healthiest meal but I'm starting you out slow because it'll be more soluble and easy for your body to handle after not eating. Jerry cooked it all especially for you so I'm sure you'll like it."

After slipping a straw into the apple juice I held it up to his mouth which he immediately clamped shut. "I figured if you drink first the food will go down easier. I imagine your throat is dry." He continued to stare daggers at me for a few minutes before I realized that he thought I was trying to trick him into taking medicine. "Geez you're exactly the same stubborn Allen I remember. Fine I'll go first." He stared at me with curious eyes as I took a sip. I guess he really doesn't remember me at all.

Wary stares were sent my way for about five minutes before he finally decided it was safe. He daintily opened his mouth and began to suck on the straw I had put to his lips. I smiled and let him continue to drink until it was half gone. "Sorry Allen but you're going to be getting small servings of everything until you're not so malnourished. We don't want you throwing up right? I brought water that you can keep but we're gonna hold back on the apple juice for now." He pouted but nodded understandingly.

"Ready for potatoes?" His eyes watched me carefully as I took a bite then passed another spoon full to him. He opened his mouth a little quicker this time. You could see he was starving from how he quickly scarfed down every bite I brought him then opened his mouth awaiting more. "You're going to get a stomachache if you continue to eat that fast." He frowned and slowed down grudgingly.

His eyes suddenly drifted to the blue jello jiggling in the bowl. "Want this?" Allen looked up and nodded. I quickly repeated the routine before giving him his bite. At the very first bite his eyes lit up and he smiled brightly. "Someone's happy haha. I knew you like blue raspberry so I requested it." He frowned then quickly slipped it into a small smile. He continued to open his mouth after every bite wanting more and more.

Half way through the jello I decided to give him pudding. I repeated every single step carefully so he'd be comfortable. To my relief he actually seemed to calm down. His stiff position had changed to one of pure bliss and relaxation. He was happy and smiling for the first time I've seen since this whole incident occurred. It was a great thing to see after all that has happened.

I began studying him for a bit while he ate and I quickly picked up on the dark bags under his eyes. "Did you not sleep well Allen?" He looked up from the spoon and nodded. "How come?" All he responded with was sliding the sleeve of his right arm up to reveal a spot with dry blood. "Is that where they give you the shot?" He nodded and focused on the spoon once again. "I'll tell them to stop since you're eating now but you have to make me a promise. I bet you've figured out that it's got a sedative in it from all the horrible sleep habits you have. They give that to you to calm you down; if you behave they can stop. I know you don't want to talk but pinky swear to me at least that you won't attack or try to hurt anyone on purpose." A pinky finger quickly slid into view which I automatically connected with mine. "Thank you Allen." He softly smiled and pulled away to continue eating.

I slid the plate away and he didn't even miss a second before he pouted. "I know you want more but I don't want you sick. You can have the water in the water bottle, I'll bring you more food at supper, and I'll sneak you something else to drink. How about that?" He smiled and nodded slightly.

Allen then decided to get up and grab the water bottle but as soon as he took his first step he fell. Reacting on pure instinct I quickly caught him. "Careful Allen you're still weak." Pain flickered over his face as he held his head in his hands. "You need to rest." I carefully pushed him into a laying position and set his head in my lap. He suddenly panicked and I pulled my hands back in surrender. "It's okay don't freak out. I thought it'd be more comfortable than the floor." He slowly lowered himself back down and rested his head against my thigh. I grabbed the water bottle from behind me and held it to his lips. "Do you want a drink Allen?" To my utter surprise, he opened his mouth and immediately began drinking. I didn't even have to taste it first! He then released it and rolled over leaving me a smiling mess. There was some improvement finally!

"Close your eyes Allen I won't hurt you." I gently started stroking his white hair in a calming manner. Before I knew it his labored breathing slowed into a calm, peaceful breathing. He had finally fallen asleep.

This newfound accomplishment was HUGE in my eyes. I didn't think I could get him to accept even with his weak state. But now here I was with him in my arms! This is completely different from yesterday! Maybe I can even get him to talk to me soon.

After a few minutes I got bored of stroking his hair. He seemed to be in a deep enough sleep so I started tracing my fingers across his face. He leaned towards my touch which revealed his cursed eye. Curiosity washed over me and I brought my hand out to trace the odd pattern. As my fingers brushed over this sensitive spot he shivered slightly. In fear of him waking up I stopped but soon began again when his eyes didn't appear to be opening any time soon. I could feel every dip and obscurity of his skin as my fingers familiarized themselves with his odd scar. It looked rather painful and deep, possibly going to the base of his skull when he got it.

Absentmindedly I returned back to his hair and began twirling the white strands around my fingers. They were so soft and pure it seemed unnatural for it to be of this world. His insanity and horrible luck made it even more unnatural. He is definitely an angel struggling between the demons inside and outside of his body that seemed to be constantly attacking. Poor Allen…I wish I could help him deal with all his problems…

"Mana…" I snapped out of my thoughts and looked at the pale boy sleeping in my lap. Tears streaked from his closed eyes as he slept. The pitiful sound in his voice made my heart crack. He sounded so broken and abused. Suddenly he screamed out causing me to jump. "Don't leave me Mana!"

"Shhh Allen shhh." I cooed gently and ran my thumb over the side of his face. "I'm here Allen don't worry." His eyes opened and he immediately clutched at my shirt bawling. I pulled him tightly to me and put a hand to the back of his head. "It's okay it was just a dream. Don't cry I've got you."

"Thank you Lavi…" His tears soaked my shirt as I held him close, taking in the three little words that echoed throughout my head. This was exactly what I was waiting for.


	4. Chapter 4

**~Ten pages done for you guys! I felt so bad I spent the entire week writing haha. Thank you so much for sticking with me! Thank you timcanpy's pen for all your advice! Your so sweet to me haha. And also thank you KuroNyo sama! You guys made me smile! I don't own D. Gray Man! Enjoy~**

I gently picked up the crying boy and adjusted him so he was sitting on my lap. His clenched hands gripped my shirt tightly while I continued to rub comforting circles on his back. "Calm down Allen it's okay. Tell me what's wrong please." Tear stained orbs stared into mine and I immediately melted. Those grey pools were accented by red and puffy cheeks that ripped your insides out. He was absolutely so broken and adorable at the same time. I absolutely had no idea what to do…

With a small nod he wrapped his arms around my neck and rested his head on my shoulder. "I had a dream about Mana leaving me." He sniffled slightly at the mention of Mana but continued. "He was killed and I didn't know what to do…I just watched." His words broke out into loud sobs that racked his body.

"It's okay Allen. It was just a dream. You never have to go through that again." He nodded slightly and used the long white sleeves of his shirt to dry his tears. Suddenly a question I was thinking about for a long time resounded in my head. I had nothing to lose so might as well ask. "Allen do you hate this place?" He nodded again causing me to sigh and chuckle at his response. "I'd prefer if you'd talk to me. If you don't mind that is."

"Sorry…" Awkward silence filled the room immediately. I mentally slapped myself for not thinking of anywhere to go with this. He was finally talking so who was I to push him past his comfort zone but that's where I ended up.

"If you answer some questions for me maybe I can help you get out of here. I'm sure you're pretty bored of this room by now." His head tilted slightly to look up at me. A small smile graced his lips causing me to already know his unanswered response. "First off what do you know about this place?" He pondered a second before answering.

"Well everything is white, there's a door over there, there's a glass wall where people stare at me all day, a bathroom over there, there's you, the scary people who tie me to my bed, the Chinese girl with long hair, the scary purple haired man, the person with the sword cause I really can't tell what gender they are, and needles." He shivered slightly at the last part. Wrapping my arms around his waist I gently pulled him closer. "Other than that I don't know anything else."

"Do you know what the Black Order is?" He stayed silent for some time. He seemed as if he was searching every crevice of his brain for some information on the place.

"What is that?" I frowned at this news. He absolutely didn't remember anything but Mana and his anti akuma weapon. It was a pretty traumatic time in his life so perhaps it was permanently engraved within his consciousness. He noticed my frown and immediately copied my action. "Should I?"

"No it's fine you don't have to. I was just curious." I forced a smile on my face which he quickly mirrored. "Okay so do you know who I am?" I silently prayed hoping he at least remembered who I was.

"Of course, that's easy. You're Lavi, I met you yesterday when you told me your name." He smiled at himself, obviously proud he remembered my name. I gestured with my hands for him to keep going. His smile faltered a little. "Uh…you have red hair, an eye patch, and are the only nice person here." He absolutely had no recollection of any of our memories. This small fact was enough to make me almost break down and cry. The only reason I kept my cool was because of his watchful gaze.

I already knew that he wouldn't know the answer to any more of my questions so I quickly switched to picking on him. "When was the last time you had a bath? You reek Moyashi!"

He frowned and quickly punched me. "My name's Allen!" He sniffed the sleeve of his shirt and instantly wrinkled his nose in disgust. "A long time ago I guess."

"Isn't there a bath in your bathroom? Do you have any clothes even?" I'm sure they had to have given him something. The Order wouldn't be this inconsiderate would they?

"There is only a toilet and a sink and the people are so afraid they don't come in here unless to knock me out. I don't get clothes other than what I'm wearing already."

"Geez…I need to get you a shower and some decent clothes. These are horrible." I continued to drone on and on about his clothes when suddenly he pulled on my shirt to get my attention.

"Lavi can I ask you a question?" Nervousness appeared on his face as he looked up once again to look me in the eye.

"Sure Sprout go ahead." His eye twitched slightly at the nickname but he refused to yell.

"Why do you keep coming in here? You saw me that one night…I remember seeing you. Why does a random stranger I just met want to stay? You've seen my mood swings so why do you choose to stay? Everyone else is so afraid they don't even come in without knocking me out." I let the words sink in a moment before I did realize that he had a ton of mood swings. He went from insane, to nervous, to happy and content, to bawling, to happy, and to nervous again. I mentally slapped myself again for not realizing earlier. Before I could face palm in real life I caught the scared expression of Allen. He was still waiting for an answer.

"I have faith in you Allen. You weren't always like this and I think I can bring you back to normal. I just need to work with you if I'm ever going to bring you back. I want to get you out of this room and hopefully restore all your memories. I just need you to have faith in me. I absolutely can't do this without you." I hugged him tighter as I spoke hoping to get the message across in more ways than one.

"What do I have to do?" I smiled and nuzzled my head against his. A big red blush formed itself across his cheeks from my contact.

"I need you to behave, answer all my questions, tell me when you notice something different, tell me when you gain back another memory, try to keep your mood swings to a minimum, and try everything I ask at least once." He nodded his approval and continued to snuggle into me.

"Hey Lavi I'm hungry." It was silent for a few seconds before I burst out laughing. Small chuckles came from Allen as he realized how random that was.

"Gosh Sprout no more food it's nap time." I lazily fell on my back and pulled him with me. "I don't want to get up again and the other food is cold."

"But Laviiiiii I'm soooo hungry." His head nonchalantly landed on my chest from which he looked up at me with big, pouty puppy dog eyes. Small drops of tears threatened to spill from his eyes which was enough to convince me.

"Gosh Allen you're evil." I pushed him off and stood up, grabbing the tray along the way.

"Thanks Lavi! See you soon!" He smiled hugely at his accomplishment and waved me off. He really is a genius.

I waved happily back at Allen and strolled down the halls of the Black Order with my hands behind my head. A huge smile spread across my face and I swear everyone could feel the happiness oozing off of me. People were giving me odd looks as I started skipping happily. I honestly couldn't care less! Allen was finally talking and now I could get Komui off his back.

I swung the doors to his office wide as I ran up and slammed my hands on his desk. He looked up frightened then eerily looked at my smile. "What's with the smile? It's kinda creepy…"

"Allen just…" Suddenly I stopped. A feeling inside my heart started tugging. I could feel my smile slipping as soon as this emotion hit me. The words left my mind as I tried to place this feeling. Am I being protective? Or is this selfishness? I really didn't want to tell Komui that Allen was talking. I only want him to talk to me…

"What's wrong with Allen?" The nervous look on Komui's face brought me to attention.

"Allen started eating. He doesn't need the nutrition shots anymore. I've got this all under control." I smiled brightly to reassure him hoping he'd accept it. As I expected a huge smile spread across his face as well.

"That's great! I'm very proud of you Lavi." He clapped his hands together happily. "Keep up the good work and remember to be safe."

"I will don't worry. I also would like to ask that you stop tying him to his bed. I got him to promise that he won't hurt anyone. I will help get him to bed and whatever else you need me to do to get you to agree to my terms. Please listen to me Komui." Komui sat silent for a few minutes. His eyes didn't meet mine as he played with his fingers.

"Fine but you have to promise you won't leave his side when needed." I smiled happily and immediately shook his hand."I'll take that as a deal haha."

"Move along Lavi, Komui needs to finish his work!" Reever stormed in and pulled on Komui's ear while ushering me out. All the way down the hallway I could hear Komui whining that he didn't need to do anything. I softly chuckled and continued on my way to my room.

Right as I was about to reach my room a flash of gold smacked into my head. "OW! Timcanpy?!" The fluttering golem came into my line of view and snuggled against my cheek. "Yeah I know, hi haha. I probably smell like Allen." Timcanpy nodded and continued to bump into my cheek with his body. "I'm sorry but I can't take you with me. I don't think Allen is quite ready enough for visitors but I promise I'll bring you soon alright?" The gold golem continued to flutter around me before settling himself on my head. I looked up to see the little creature looking down at me. "I guess you can come with but when I go back in with Allen you have to stay behind the glass. Got it Tim?" The golem tugged on my hair lightly so I took that as a yes.

We continued to my room where I threw my blood stained scarf into my dirty laundry basket. I grabbed a new scarf and left with the little golem who was currently chewing on my hair. "Tim stop it I'll get you food. I need to get food for Allen anyways." Tim eventually stopped when we passed through the cafeteria threshold. Once inside we were quickly greeted by Jerry who excitedly patted Tim on the head.

"Hello there Tim! You're getting so big you cutie!" Jerry cooed happily as he lightly patted Timcanpy. He then turned his attention to me and smiled brightly. "I bet you've come to get food for my favorite little exorcist. Make sure he feels better okay."

"Oh you know I will. He ate the food I picked up earlier so he's doing much better. His old appetite should be back to normal before we know it." Jerry's smile widened at the news. "I'd like to order Timcanpy a hamburger and then for Allen some chicken soup, apple sauce, orange juice and…." I thought carefully whether or not I should get Allen anything else. Suddenly an idea that I knew Allen would love came to my mind."And one stick of mitarashi dango please." Jerry was practically squealing with joy.

"Coming right up! You have no idea how much I've missed making that dish for him!" Before I could even respond the tray was pushed my way. "Aren't you going to eat anything Lavi?"

"No, I'm going to eat the rest of Allen's. I've been making him hold back some until he's not so starved. There will be plenty for me but thanks for the concern." I smiled for the millionth time and grabbed some silverware. "Well we're going to be on our way. See ya later Jerry!" I threw a wave over my shoulder as I headed out the door.

During the walk back I heard a thud and looked down to see that Tim had dropped down onto the tray. "What are you doing Tim?" He grabbed his hamburger and flew it back to the top of my head. I heard noisy crunching and felt crumbs landing in my hair as he began eating it."Tim! Quit it! You're going to get crumbs in my hair!" He continued to eat regardless of my scolding. I scowled up at him and sighed seeing that I couldn't swat him off the top of my head with my hands full. Instead I decided to make my way back to Allen's as quickly as possible.

When I reached the glass of Allen's room I quickly set the tray on the floor and plucked Timcanpy off my head. He continued to munch on the hamburger hanging lazily out of his mouth as I shook out the crumbs and scowled. "Bad Tim. Now stay behind the glass." I let him go and picked up the tray. When I looked up Allen was looking this way curiously. I flashed my usual grin and waved. He waved back and continued to stare at Tim curiously.

I quietly slipped into his room, making sure that Timcanpy wasn't trying to sneak in with me. Once the coast was clear I quickly shut the door and turned to Allen. "Hiya Allen! Supper time!"

His smile immediately brightened. "Hi Lavi! What is that thing out there?" Allen pointed straight at Tim.

"That's Timcanpy, he's a friend of mine. Wanna go see him?" Allen nodded then suddenly blushed. I began walking towards the glass then stopped when I didn't hear any footsteps behind me. I turned around to see him sitting on the floor still. "Are you alright Allen? Nervous?" He looked up at me and nodded sheepishly. "There's no reason to be nervous haha. You'll really like him and he's nice. Come here and I'll show you." I reached down and took Allen's hand into my own. After standing him up I lead him to the window and tapped on it gently. Tim looked at us and bumped himself against the glass which made Allen giggle.

"He's cute Lavi. Can he come in?"Allen looked at me hopefully. His grey eyes lit up at the fact that someone else wanted to be in here with him.

"Sorry Allen, not today but he will be able to soon. I promise okay?" He nodded and began scratching his finger on the glass. Tim reacted as if Allen was actually scratching him. He started tilting and looked much like a cat being scratched under the neck. Allen continued to giggle and play with him through the glass.

"I'm glad he'll be able to come in here soon. Timcanpy will be my friend for sure if he's a friend of you." He smiled at me hopefully and I nodded. "Let him come in quickly Lavi. When you are sure I can handle it I'd like to become friends with him. I'll try my very best okay!" He looked at me with wide eyes and a smile to match.

I began looking at him in shock. I didn't expect him to know that I had to watch him before letting Tim in. "I know you will Allen." I ruffled his hair slightly and watched as he happily continued to play. Maybe Allen will be able to handle Tim sooner rather than later.


	5. Chapter 5

**~2 Chapters up tonight! *Happy Dance* You have no idea how happy I am to finally have this in. My parents have been hogging the computer forever! So I did all this at school during study hall and english. I thought I'd give you guys a treat since I'm going to be going to a city with my best friend this weekend and I never have school on fridays, which I imagine you all do. I feel so bad for you! Seriously idk how you guys do it... Anyway thanks for your support and coming this far! I keep forgetting disclaimers -_- so anyway I don't own D-Gray Man~**

Allen lightly tugged on my hand which made me blush crimson. I had no idea that I was still holding his hand gently."Hey Lavi, while we eat can you tell me stories?" My mind suddenly exploded when his closeness began to register. The fact that we were still holding hands made me feel very nervous and confused. He looked at me curiously and tugged on my hand again after a minute of silence. "Lavi?"

"Oh sorry! Yeah I can tell you stories. Let's go get the food kay?" I continued to blush slightly as he nodded and lead me toward the food. He swung our intertwined hands back and forth the entire way over to the tray. He was smiling softly with a small blush painted lightly across his cheeks. Anyone who saw him at this moment could honestly say he was enjoying himself. I won't lie, I was enjoying myself too. It felt great to have his hand in mine as we walked side by side.

"Wow this looks so good! Thank you for the meal Lavi!" He plopped down and pulled me with gently. His hand slid out of mine as he reached for the silverware and handed me a fork and a spoon. The warmth that I had felt in my hand was disappearing rapidly. I felt a dull ache in my heart and I instantly missed the warm feeling of his hand in mine.

"I sure hope so. I had to pick food while Tim was chewing on my hair the whole time. That little brat." I threw on a fake smile and ran my hand through my hair searching for crumbs. Allen laughed at my silliness.

"Don't blame Tim, he's always hungry." Allen bent down and took a sip of the soup. He smiled up at me. "This is really good. Give my compliments to the chef next time okay." I didn't even respond. I was too busy trying to figure out if I had heard Allen right.

"What'd you just say?" He looked at me curiously and took another sip of his soup.

"Give my compliments to the chef."

"No before that." Allen stopped and took a second to remember.

"This is really good?" I facepalmed and shook my head rapidly. He was just so innocent sometimes…

"No Allen before that." I secretly crossed my fingers and prayed to God that I had heard him right. He remained silent for a few more seconds before responding.

"Don't blame Tim, he's always hungry." At this I just couldn't control myself. I stood up and pulled Allen with me. We spun in wild circles around the room, Allen clutching to me for dear life the entire time.

"I can't believe it! It's true! You actually said that!" I laughed and continued to spin him in crazy circles.

"Lavi stop I'm going to throw up!"He rapidly smacked a hand to his mouth. I stopped and apologized while he continued to calm his squirming stomach. When he had finally calmed down enough he looked at me curiously. "Why the sudden need to spin me in circles?"

"Because you said don't blame Tim, he's always hungry! Allen you just remembered something! Do you know how big of a deal that is!" I picked him up and slightly tossed him into the air, catching him with ease. My smiles and laughs became infectious and spread to the smaller boy.

"Really! Is that good Lavi?" I chuckled and ruffled his hair.

"It's great Sprout. It's really great! I'm so glad I brought you a reward today. You deserve it greatly." Slipping my hand into his I lead him towards the food again and sat down. "I got you mitarashi dango."

Allen's eyes were curious as he stared at the mitarashi dango stick. "What is it?" He hesitantly picked up the stick and examined the food carefully.

"It's your favorite food! Here open your mouth." He opened up and giggled softly as I held the stick up to his mouth. He popped the first ball into his mouth and instantly sighed. His grey orbs lit up and began shining. "Like it Sprout?" He just limply nodded and brought his mouth to the stick for another.

"Thank you Lavi." He clapped his hands together and smiled happily. "Here you deserve some." Next thing I knew Allen had taken the food from me and had held it up to my face. I took a hesitant bite expecting him to pull it back or explode at me. Allen continued to smile sweetly and motioned for me to go on. I popped the entire ball into my mouth and watched him carefully. He never even flinched at all.

"You don't mind sharing your food?"He shook his head and took the last ball of mitarashi dango. He hogs all the food same as always at least.

"No, why would I?" His curious eyes wandered over me. Their kind gaze made a whole new wave of crimson cross over my face. My heart began thumping nervously in my chest. Why am I feeling this way?

"No reason, anyway ready for stories?" Allen nodded quickly and stared at me with intent eyes as he dipped his spoon into the mass of apple sauce. "What kind of stories do you want to hear?"

Allen was thoughtful for only a moment before responding. "I want to hear stories about us. You said I never used to be this way so I want to know what I was like. Maybe this will help some."

"Yeah maybe it will. Alright well I'll tell you about how I first met you. It was after you had returned from the Rewinding Town and had fought Road Kamelot. You had a candle weapon stabbed into your left eye and were in the hospital. You were beat up pretty badly with many more wounds." Allen listened intently as I continued to tell the story. He ate through most of it but I noticed that his left hand rose up to touch where he had been stabbed every once and a while randomly. He seemed a little unnerved by the fact that his eye had been stabbed.

"Oh! I have to tell you about the first mission we had together! We got stuck in this town and had to check out Krory's place because everyone thought he was a vampire. He was going totally nuts and biting people but they were actually akuma which you figured out. Then his man eating plants tried to eat us and you knew exactly what to do. You said we had to tell the plants that we love them." At this Allen spit out his orange juice and coughed.

"We had to do what? Lavi I doubt the credibility of this…" He looked at me incredulously and shook his head, scooting away from the puddles of orange juice.

"No I'm serious dude! It actually worked and we got away safely. It was amazing how they just backed off." Allen just chuckled and nodded.

"Okay, okay I believe you." He scooted closer and rested his head against my shoulder. "I'm all done eating now." A bright blush appeared on my cheeks when I looked down into his smiling face that was looking up at me. Why do I keep doing this! I quickly turned my head to stare at the almost empty tray to hide my blush. When I did this I noticed he had left me a few sips of soup and spoonfuls of applesauce.

"Here Lavi say ah…" Next thing I knew Allen was sitting in front of me cupping the bowl of soup in his hands. He brought it carefully to my lips and let me drink the rest. The warm substance trickled down my throat and warmed my insides. He smiled brightly and held up a spoonful of applesauce. I took the bite and looked down, hoping to hide the massive blush on my face. He continued to feed me like that until it was gone before nuzzling right back up against me. His warmth made me feel like I was wrapped in blankets.

We sat in silence while he continued to cuddle my arm. His firm hands had curled gently around my arm while his head rested against my shoulder. He seemed so calm and happy that it spread towards me. I warmed up to his hold and eventually relaxed, cuddling him back. His smile grew when I adjusted us to wrap my arm around his shoulders. Our eyes closed gently and we sat enjoying each other's company. We stayed like this for maybe an hour before someone burst open the door. Allen, who was half asleep, jumped and practically knocked me over. Both our heads turned to stare at the door with our hands over our racing hearts.

"I'm sorry….I didn't mean to do that."Komui looked at us sheepishly while holding the door. "My mistake…" I burst out laughing but Allen simply clenched his fists and glared hard at Komui. I stopped my laughing to take in Allen's face. Pure hatred covered every inch of his face and his hands that were against my arm continued to clench and unclench in a rhythmic pattern. His jaw was clenched and you could hear him grinding his teeth trying to stay under control.

"Calm down Allen it's okay." When Komui locked eyes with him Allen couldn't take it anymore. He clutched at his head and looked down trying to even out his breathing. I started rubbing comforting circles on his back. "Shhh Allen shhhh. He's not going to touch you." Allen began shaking slightly and used his hands to support himself against the floor. "I won't let him touch you." He simply nodded and tried not to lose his cool.

"Hey Allen, how are you feeling?"This caused Allen to snap. His head shot up and glared at Komui with everything he had. With incredible speed Allen was off the floor and almost on a frantic Komui. In the last second I tackled him to the floor and held his wrists.

"How do you think I feel! You monster! GET OUT!" Allen screamed and began clawing at my wrists to release him.

"Shh Allen it's okay I'm here." I quickly muttered to him then turned my head to Komui. I yelled at him with all the enforcement in the world. "Get OUT." Komui's eyes widened and stared at my hardened gaze. Finally he closed the door and Allen's arms went slack. Small trickles of blood slid down my arms from long scratches.

"I'm sorry Lavi!" Allen's sobs filled the room. He gently pushed me back and began wiping at the blood on my arms. "I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry…"

"Hey Allen it's okay I don't blame you. You've had bad experiences with Komui so it's obvious that you would react this way." I pulled him into a hug and heard a shocked sob in return. My hand came up to stroke the back of his head calmly. "Don't be so scared. Everything will be just fine. We're set back a little but eventually you'll get through this and I'll be helping every step of the way."

Tear filled eyes looked up to stare into my only uncovered one. "Does this mean…Timcanpy can't visit?" Sadly I shook my head. Tears streamed down his face and he buried his face into my shirt.

"He'll come soon okay. A little more work and you'll get to play with him I promise." Blood continued to trickle down my arms at a slow, steady pace and seeped into Allen's white shirt. His sobs racked his body gently as he held onto me.

After quite a few minutes of crying he began to slip into unconsciousness. His loud sobs died away to small whimpers barely audible in his sleep. As happy as I was that he finally fell asleep this proved to be a problem. Allen's bed was still outside of the room and I couldn't retrieve it in fear of waking up the upset little exorcist. Maybe I could somehow roll him off….

With as much gentleness as I could muster I began to push Allen off of me. Strong arms quickly wrapped around me while his face cuddled into the crook of my neck. A thick blush spread across my face and Allen sighed contentedly. Now what am I going to do? I quietly whispered and nudged his side. "Hey Allen wake up."

Suddenly Allen's face scrunched up and he slurred in a sleepy voice. "Hi Lavi…" Great! He talks in his sleep!

"Can you get up Allen? I have to go get your bed." He shook his head and clutched onto me tighter.

"Don't want to." I sighed and shook him lightly.

"Come on Allen, we're getting up." He started whining and clinging to my shirt as I stood up. "You can come with me okay?" Finally I dragged the both of us up and headed towards the door. Allen proved to be a problem so I slung him over my shoulder in one quick movement. His quiet whispers of resistance and how this was "unfair" reached my ears the entire way to the door. It swung open silently and I motioned to the finder outside. "Hey can you bring in Allen's bed?"

Allen slurred once more only louder. "Don't touch my bed…I'll rip your fingers off…"The finder looked nervous but I laughed and did the universal sign for crazy. He still looked nervous but pushed the bed inside nonetheless.

"Don't worry he won't hurt you."The finder shook his head and continued to stare at Allen cautiously.

"You better believe I will hurt you….that's my bed….don't touch it." Allen raised his fist slightly and slapped it against my back with an audible smack. The finder jumped and ran out of the room as fast as possible. Allen chuckled from his spot over my shoulder and muttered something about idiots and ripping off fingers. I mentally facepalmed at this. Oh Allen...


	6. Chapter 6

**~Omg you guys are too cute! All your reviews, favorites, and adds made me so happy. Thank you so much! I hope this is a soon enough update. Thank you timcanpy's pen for all your support. I'm glad you loved my little dark Allen scene haha. I hope you love this chapter as well! And also thank you A Random Fangirl! *blushes* I blushed when I read yours. I didn't think my writing was that good but thanks so much for your comment! And I hear ya, I recently discovered the lack of Laven stories. I reached the last page of stories with Allen and Lavi in them :/ We need more! Also thanks to emiwwy-17! I'm so glad you love the fluff it just gives you awesome feels right haha. Hope you all enjoy. Once again I do not own. If I did it'd be Laven all the way~**

I finally got Allen into bed after a ruthless battle. It took forever before I managed to fight Allen into his sheets and cover him with the blanket. The boy clung to me for dear life and somehow managed to take my shirt off in the fight. I watched as he cuddled up to the piece of fabric in his hands and smiled. I sighed and ran a hand through my unruly red hair. "What am I going to do with you Allen…" He smiled in his sleep and caused me to smirk. I leaned down and gently planted a kiss on his forehead. "Good night Allen. I'll see you in the morning."

I shut the door and made my way towards my own room. The halls were scary and seemed to elongate in the darkness. I never really noticed before how creepy the Order's hallways actually are. I smirked and thought about what'd it'd be like to bring Allen through here. Him clutching to my arm and saying sacredly, _"Lavi I'm scared!" _I'd tell him everything will be alright while sliding my arm around his shoulder and leaning in to… "WHAT THE HELL!" I slapped my hands over my mouth and hoping I hadn't awoken anyone from their sleep at this hour.

Suddenly a cold blade was pressed to my throat. I turned slightly and held my hands up in surrender. "What the hell usagi!" Kanda's glare became intensified by the darkness in the corridor.

"Sorry just thinking." I slipped out of his range and bolted towards my room. I quickly opened and shut the door. I slid my back down and rested against it. Why was I thinking about kissing Allen? He doesn't love me like that. Or does he? He did cuddle up to me and was all over me…He seemed as if throwing himself on me was his life purpose.

I dragged myself to my bed and flopped down. Starting tomorrow I will deny all displays of affection from Allen. I can't fall in love with him. If I do and he gets his memories back I could be left with my hopes too high and nothing to gain. I will not fall in love with Allen and vice versa. I shut my eyes tightly and willed sleep to come until the darkness finally arrived to take me away.

In the morning I awoke to a shift in my bed. The person cuddled up right next to me and spoke in a gentle voice. "Good morning Lavi. Got any news for me?" I smiled and wrapped my arms around the body next to me.

"Good morning Lenalee, welcome home. I have sooooo much to tell you! You have to promise to keep this to yourself which means not even your brother can know." She nodded and stared at me intently with wide eyes. "I got Allen to eat and to talk. He's really opened up and trusts me."

"That is so great Lavi! I'm proud of you!" She pulled me into a tighter hug which caused both our smiles to widen.

"Some bad things did happen though. Allen almost attacked your brother but I managed to hold him down." I slid the sleeves of my shirt up to show the long scratches up the side of my arms. Lenalee's fingertips drifted over them gently and she frowned. "Also…" At this moment I decided to come clean and spill my guts out to her. "I think Allen has a crush on me…and…I think I have one on him." Her eyes lit up at this.

"Oh Lavi that's so cute! You should go for it!" I sighed and pulled my arms away, rolling the other direction. She seemed rejected and tapped my shoulder after a few minutes of silence.

"I don't think I could Lenalee. This just started yesterday and when he gets his memories back they won't be the same as anything that could happen now. All I can see is him turning away at me disgusted."

"Hey you don't know that. He started all this so who knows. You won't know till you try." She began rubbing calming circles on my back as she spoke.

"We'll see…no promises." She smiled and gave me another hug before getting up.

"That's good Lavi. I gotta go report and you should get back to Allen. He's kind of an early riser from what I heard and doesn't do very well at this time. Good luck today and don't forget to have fun. You know Allen better than anyone so don't dwell on yourself too much kay?" She turned to leave but I ran and grabbed her hand before she could open the door.

"Wait! I need your help with something. I want to sneak Allen out of his room for a bath. Will you help me?" Her jaw dropped to the floor in shock.

"Are you kidding me Lavi! Komui will kill us!"

"I know but please! There's no bath in his room and they don't bring him fresh clothes. He reeks believe me! Please help Lenalee. If we get caught I'll take all the blame I promise." She looked at me incredulously and shook her head.

"I can't believe I'm doing this…" I jumped and hugged her.

"Thanks Lena! I just need you to get everyone to the cafeteria long enough for me to sneak Allen to my room and back without anyone noticing. It should be quite easy for someone of your standard." I smiled brightly to add to the effect and hoping she wouldn't be too ruthless when I had to pay her back.

"Okay, we'll do this at supper time. That's the best time for it. Oh! I came in here to wake you up because Bookman is looking for you. He said something about paper work." I sighed and looked down. The old panda has me doing work even when I already have a project at hand…

"Okay be there soon." I waved her off and got ready for the day. When I was ready I ran down to the library to meet Panda and grab my huge stack of paper work before heading down to the cafeteria and grabbing a bit of food for Allen. On the way back I grabbed a few things from my room for Allen to play with, hopefully to keep him occupied long enough for me to do some work.

When I finally managed to make my way into Allen's room I was crushed and knocked to the floor by a forceful hug. "Lavi! Welcome back!" I laughed and hugged him back. "Good morning Lavi." His face snuggled into the crook of my neck causing me to blush.

"Good morning Allen, I brought you food." He quickly jumped off and snatched the orange from my hand. He ripped the orange peel to shreds and watched as I began collecting all my fallen items.

Between mouthfuls of food he spoke. "What's all that?" I laughed and tossed another book onto my pile.

"My mentor gave me some work that I missed out while helping you." He frowned and stared at me sadly. "Don't worry I didn't wanna do it anyway. Now I have to though or Bookman will for sure take me out of here." He nodded and began munching on his orange again.

I stretched and separated the two piles I created. "I brought some stuff for you to play with Allen. I need to get work done so I thought these might interest you for a while." I gestured to the pile of assorted items, adventure books, pictures, stuffed animal rabbits, and playing cards. He pouted slightly and slid himself over to the pile. When he looked semi interested in the playing cards I began to do my work. Unfortunately it didn't last very long when a pair of arms wrapped around my neck and a chest collided with my back.

"Lavi I'm boorrreeeddd." My face heated up into a blush but I continued to look down and do my work. I tried ignoring him but he kept pushing his chest against my back until I was hunched over.

"Allen please stop I have to do my work." He whined and pressed his face into my shoulder.

"But I'm sooo bored. Play poker with me." I shook my head and inwardly chuckled at the game he wanted to play. He stayed silent for a few minutes before shifting. Suddenly he was sitting in my lap and grabbed my pencil from my hand, throwing it across the room. I stared at him like a fish out of water before he wrapped his arms around me and cuddled up.

"Allen…what are you doing…" He just smiled and continued to hold me tightly. His stormy eyes showed tiny flecks of gold and an expression I couldn't place. A pang of nervousness spread throughout me as I stared into his eyes. I know that color…

"Nothing just being friendly." His face slid into the crook of my neck and he seemed as if he were almost purring. I reached a hand up to his chest to push him away but his hand clutched my shirt. "Please don't Lavi. If you won't play games with me at least let me stay. Please…" I gulped and nodded before grabbing my pencil and continuing with my work.

Allen sat very still for quite a while after that, so long in fact I thought he had fallen asleep. Right as I was about to push him off he tightened his grip on my shirt and whined into my ear. "Lavi you promised." He could feel my rapid beating heart and started rubbing calming circles into my back. "I don't see why your so nervous Lavi. I'm just being friendly." He pulled his head away from my shoulder to stare into my eyes. The mass of gold flecks were a little larger and taking up almost half of each iris.

"Nothing don't worry about it." He pouted and crawled off of me to the playing cards. He grabbed them and flopped onto his bed while flipping through them. After a while he said my name and held up a card.

"What's this Lavi? I feel as if this has some connection to me." He smirked and turned the card around to reveal an ace of spades. My heart stopped while I took in the sight of him. His right eye was completely gold while the left was only half.

"It's an ace of spades." He turned his attention back to the card and laid down completely.

"I feel like I know this card…" I sat in silence and let him ponder over it for a moment. After a second he gasped and whispered something. "What was that Allen?"

Allen screamed and sat up, throwing the deck of cards that fluttered to the ground around him. He clutched his left arm with wide, shaking eyes. He began muttering as I ran to his side. I couldn't pick out anything he was mumbling. "Allen speak to me what's wrong!" His gaze slid over to me slowly while an odd unsure smile spread across his face before a small laugh tore it away. "Allen!" I shook his shoulder slightly to get his attention. He blinked and laughed a scared laugh.

"My family…why'd they do this?" He pushed his hand to his heart. "Get it out…get it out!" It took me a second to register his words. He was referring to the butterfly Tyki had placed inside his heart long ago. His hands ripped at his shirt and clawed at his skin. Warm blood gushed from the open wounds as I struggled to get his hands under control.

"Allen stop! They're not your family, we are!" His left eye began flickering between gold and half gold as he breathed heavily.

"Let go of me! I need to get it out!" I quickly pressed myself against his chest and hugged him tightly. Blood covered fingernails dug through my clothes into my back as he continued to shake violently. I could feel prickles of blood dripping from the wounds in my back as he continued to dig in. Suddenly a cry broke out from beneath me and his eyes turned gray, rolling back into his head. Allen was unconscious.

I immediately sat up and pressed my hands to the side of his face. My thumbs rubbed against his cheeks as I tried desperately to wake him up. "Come on Allen wake up." His eyes continued to stay shut. "Come on buddy wake up for me. You can do this." After a few more minutes of tapping Allen's eyes flickered open. Pale grey irises slid up to look at me as if he were drugged. His eyes became wide and nervous. Suddenly a horrified expression crossed his face when they traveled down to see the blood gushing from his wounds. "It's okay Allen you'll be fine. It'll be okay." Allen threw his head back and screamed. "Shit." I picked him up and ran him to the bathroom, setting him on the counter. I prayed to God nobody had heard him.

Allen reached out to grab my hands to stop me when I brought them towards him. I swatted his hands away. "Allen stop or I will tie your hands to the sink." He stayed still as I ripped the rest of his shirt off him. I dipped it in water and began cleaning all his wounds before tying strips around his body. Why did all this happen?

When I was finished he clung onto my neck. I picked him up gently and carried him to the bed. Allen cuddled up immediately while I stroked his hair and pulled him closer. He continued to tremble in my arms with wide eyes, not saying a word. "Allen please talk to me." I ran my hands over his cheeks and planted a small kiss on his forehead. I let me lips linger there until he quietly spoke. "What was that?"

He spoke to me in a barely audible, broken voice. "Arm came off…hole in my heart…ace of spades…" He pressed his face into the crook of my neck and began to cry. He had remembered his fight with Tyki.

"I know Allen but it's all over. Don't freak out." Allen gripped my shirt and pressed his lips to my cheek in thanks. They were warm and moist from all his crying. I would've stopped to enjoy it if I wasn't currently worried about him.

"Lavi…I feel sick." I nodded and helped him sit up. After his first step he stumbled making me catch him. He was so weak…maybe the 14th took over. Suddenly Allen threw up on the white floor. "I'm so sorry."

"It's okay Allen let it out." He continued to empty his stomach on the floor while I held him up by his armpits. I slung one arm around and began to rub his stomach gently. He grimaced and heaved before panting. Dry heaves left his throat before he finally calmed down.

"Lavi…" He turned and wrapped his arms around my neck. "Help me please." His voice and eyes screamed desperate as he looked at me. He was honestly terrified. I wrapped my arms around his waist to help support him. A cringe lit across his face at this action but I didn't let go.

"To help you I need to take you to Komui. You'll have to promise to behave." Allen slightly nodded so I grabbed the back of his legs, wrapping them around my waist. I supported him around his middle and walked towards the door. His head flopped weakly onto me shoulder. Komui will totally kill me for this…I gently opened the door and walked a weak Allen out into the Order.

"Lavi…what if I throw up?" He fisted the back of my shirt with his hands.

"If you do that's okay. Don't worry about it." He nodded and cringed at all the people staring at him. Everyone was too nervous to stop me as I rushed him to Komui's office. It'll be a matter of time before word spreads and Lenalee shows up.

I pushed the door open and Komui looked up at me with evident surprise on his face. He stood up and rushed over to me. "Before you freak out I brought him here for a reason. It's really important he…" I was suddenly cut off by a tugging on my sleeve.

"Lavi I'm gonna…" Before I could react Allen pushed himself off me and scrambled for the nearest garbage can. Komui winced while I knelt down to help Allen through this. He coughed hoarsely and threw up again.

"Lavi what's going on?" I turned my attention to Komui to see worry on his face.

"I think the 14th took over. His eyes were gold." I continued to brief Komui on Allen's status while said boy kept his head in the garbage can. He pulled back and wiped his mouth, immediately latching onto me again. I lifted him up and looked at Komui expectantly. Allen's breathing had become labored and uneven. "He asked for help and I could only think of you. He even agreed. Please do something." Komui took in Allen's state then ushered us to an operating table.

"Allen grabbed my hand in one hand while pulling my head down with the other. In a shaky voice he said, "Don't leave me Lavi." I smiled and squeezed his hand slightly.

"Wouldn't dream of it Sprout." I set him on the table gently and waited for the next command.


	7. Chapter 7

**~Hi! Sorry about the long wait! I have awesome news though, I got book 1-3 of D. Gray Man all rolled into one manga! It's my first manga ever haha, I'm so happy. I also wanted to share something awesome with you guys. I read this while learning about misplaced modifiers and thought it was awesome. Idk if you guys will like it as much as me but here it is. ****_"Substitute 'damn' every time you're inclined to write 'very'; your editor will delete it and the writing will be just as it should be." -Mark Twain I thought that'd be kinda funny haha. Anyway I also wanted to tell you guys that if you want a funny Laven video watch Is Allen Gay or European? by shenorashegaia. It's hilarious! Anyway onto the thank yous! Thanks Snipperita for your support! Thanks Timcanpy's pen! I loved writing the toys scene cuz that's just totally adorable haha. And thanks to you also Cheater boy! I tried to put a bit of freaking out in there for him but not too much to overdo it. Thank you A Random Fangirl! I kind of like Allen like this too hehe. And also thank you roseahal for your review! Sorry about all the exclamation points. I'm excited you guys like it and idk how else to get my point across haha. I hope I didn't miss anybody T.T Anyway I'll shut up, I do not own!~_**

Komui grabbed a bucket and handed it to Allen and started pushing the operating table out the front doors. I followed quickly and grabbed a hold of Allen's shaking hand. "Where are we going Komui?" Allen coughed, quickly covering his mouth in fear of throwing up. I watched him carefully getting ready to grab the bucket from him but he lowered his hand after a minute. I looked at him with a criticizing look which he responded with a small, reassuring smile.

"I'm taking him to Hevlaska. I want to make sure everything will be okay." As we continued down the hallway people began staring. Their eyes were wide and criticizing as Allen passed by. Everyone was wary and whispering amongst themselves. Rumors started conjuring at that very moment. It made me so angry that I shot them a glare.

"Don't you have anything better to do! Get lost and shut up!" They all jumped and headed off down the hall, obviously still spreading their rumors. Allen lightly chuckled and squeezed my hand. I squeezed back and sent him the thumbs up sign.

"Lavi can you help me get him on the elevator?" I nodded and pulled my hand from Allen's. Allen instantly flinched and let out a startled squeal. His hand shot out and grabbed me by the shirt, roughly pulling me towards him. Luckily I got my hands out to stop me before I smashed into him.

"Shh Allen it's okay, I'm just going to be right behind you. Just keep your eyes on me." I cooed gently and ran a hand through his dirty hair. Allen nodded and reluctantly let go of my shirt. I stepped behind him and gently helped Komui steer him onto the elevator. Allen tilted his head back far enough to see me and smiled. I smiled back and laughed at his cuteness. Despite being nervous as he was he still managed to have a good attitude about it. I guess I'd be scared too if I didn't even know where I was or what was going on. Meeting Hevlaska is going to be fun…

Out of the corner of my eye I kept noticing Komui looking back and smiling at us. When he stopped to help me with the final push onto the elevator he made a heart symbol with his hands. A blush erupted on my face causing Allen to look at me curiously. His hands slid up and cupped my face. Soft thumbs gently slipped over my blush causing it to heat up even more. Allen smiled at this reaction and began threading his fingers through my hair that he could reach.

I ignored him the best I could and focused on getting him onto the platform. When Komui hit the switch to go down Allen jumped and ended up smacking me across the face. "Allen! That hurt!" I pouted and rubbed my sore cheek. He slapped me hard!

"I'm sorry Lavi." He looked back at me and smiled weakly. His voice was so low I could barely hear it. My pout instantly was replaced with worry as Allen's eyes drooped slightly.

"Alright Allen it's time to begin. Hevlaska, if you'd please." White tendrils closed themselves around Allen. His eyes shot wide open and a scream ripped from his throat.

"Lavi!" I grabbed his face in my hands and rubbed his forehead gently. He seemed to calm down a little but kept looking at me, pleading for me to release him. I pressed calming kisses to his cheek and cooed to him softly. Smug glances from Komui were sent our way the entire time.

"Hevlaska won't hurt you I promise. She's just checking you over okay? You promised you'd behave. I know you can do this." He looked into my eyes for a few seconds and nodded slowly. He pressed a kiss to my cheek and let go. Hevlaska then lifted him up and began his assessment, leaving me to my thoughts.

All preconceived notions of not expressing love towards Allen were about as shot as they could ever be. I pretty much blew it the second that I decided that. I don't know what came over me but I felt like I had to kiss him and comfort him. I'm the only one there for him now, and I'm not going to drop that.

"He seems to be alright. The Noah appeared because of the mass of pain received from his memories which caused him to let go of himself for a moment. Rest is needed but besides that he should be fine. Feel better Allen. We need you back on the force." Allen looked up at Hevlaska and nodded his head gently. I figured he had no idea what she was talking about but he seemed to be calmer. Maybe he remembered his first visit to Hevlaska.

Komui still wanted to test Allen who practically passed out at the thought of needles. After a quick shot up the elevator and race to Komui's office we began. As soon as Komui brought out that syringe I was on the table holding Allen down forcibly. He was absolutely NOT happy about this and flinched every time Komui got relatively close. With many screams and kicks to Komui we finally got the blood needed from Allen. He visibly relaxed and began pouting once it was over. "I want to go back. This was a bad idea."

"Oh come on Allen, I know your grateful. Say your thanks to Komui." A fierce glare got sent my way the second I brought this up. I was trying to be funny but Allen absolutely would have none of that.

"Never in a million years." He sneered and turned to look away. Komui didn't even seem phased by Allen's behavior. Probably because he just finished shoving a needle into Allen's arm so I guess he had a right to be mad.

"Geez, moody much?" Allen whined and tossed the item nearest to him, which just so happened to be a stapler off Komui's desk. Squealing I ducked and pointed an accusing finger at Allen. "Quit trying to kill me!" He laughed and began throwing paper clips at me with a renewed vigor.

"Oh but Lavi! It's so much fun!" He tossed another paper clip which hit me smack in the middle of my forehead. A burst of giggles came from Allen before he broke into full out laughter. I jumped onto the bed and began tickling him under the armpits. We both laughed and laughed until we fell onto the floor with a loud smack. Everything was silent for only a moment before another wave of giggles washed over the room.

Section leader Reever came in and began pushing us out the door. "I appreciate the visits but we don't need you messing up Komui's office worse than it is. We are still trying to find all the crap we need. I'm surprised we haven't lost a scientist in that mess yet." He visibly sweat dropped and closed the door. Seconds later you could hear him arguing with Komui about building robots. I shuddered and lead a wobbly Allen to my room.

When we reached my door Allen looked around curiously. I opened the door and pushed him inside quickly before anyone would see him. "What is this place?" I lazily fell onto my bed and smiled, holding my arms out wide to gesture to my room.

"Welcome to la casa de Lavi. This is my room here in the Head Quarters. I brought you so you can shower. Just grab whatever you like from my dresser and behind that door is my bathroom. The towels are under the sink." He said his thanks and began shuffling through all the clothes. "They might be a bit big but at least they'll be comfy. I suggest grabbing pjs so you can sleep comfortably."

He pulled out a pair of black sweatpants and a white t shirt. Allen stood there awkwardly and fiddled with his fingers before coughing, catching my attention. "I need boxers too." I pointed to the top shelf from my spot on the bed.

"There should be some with the tags on them in that drawer. You can go ahead and keep them. Next time I'll grab clothes from your room before you shower again." He nodded and pulled out a pair before quickly shuffling into the bathroom. The door shut with a small click and was replaced by the relaxing sound of running water.

I sat there patiently and flipped through the books that Panda had assigned for me to read. I scanned the pages halfheartedly, not bothering to read every word. After a few more minutes of aimless flipping the sounds of water shut off. Bare feet padded out of the bathroom and into my room. I looked up to see Allen dressed in the clothes that seemed to be several sizes too big for him while he dried his snow white hair. Shimmering droplets slid down his face and made his scar brighten in the light.

He stretched and smiled happily. "It feels so good to be clean. I was so dirty that the water changed color. I'm glad I got that blood out of my hair too." He began picking at his hair to make sure he had gotten all of it off.

"You look just like you used to! I'm glad you're feeling all comfy. Ready to go back?" Allen nodded and tossed his towel into the laundry hamper.

"Do you mind if I throw the dirty clothes in there? I really don't want them back." Allen scrunched up his face in disgust which made me laugh.

"Sure I don't mind." He tossed it in and opened the door for me. He seemed to be doing much better from earlier which is good. After a good night's rest he should be perfectly back to normal. I think I'll bring him a surprise tomorrow to make him feel even better.

"Lavi, I don't know how to get there from here." I grabbed him roughly by the shoulders from behind and began ushering him down the hall. He fumbled and tried to keep up. "Quit pushing me!"

"I'm not pushing! I'm just walking faster behind you." He laughed and looked back at me with an incredulous look on his face. **(borrowed this from Jessie, I do not own.)**

"Are you serious? That's the same thing!" I laughed and turned his head back around.

"No it's not now keep walking!" Allen laughed the entire way down the hall and pulled at my hands to release him. When he was finally granted his freedom he ran down the hall. I chased after him only to hear the one thing you never want to hear when chasing someone.

"Brake check!" He stopped running abruptly, giving me no time to react. I smashed into him full force and brought him down with me in a crash.

"That was a dirty trick Allen!" I crawled off of him and rubbed my head while he continued to laugh.

"Sorry Lavi, it's the only thing I could think of to get back at you." He laughed harder and eventually rose, offering me a hand. I took it and hauled myself up. After a few more steps we were outside his room and opened the door with a metallic hiss.

He sighed at the white emptiness of the room and trudged to his bed. "Sorry about not letting you finish your work. I didn't mean to get you in trouble if I did. I'll let you finish your work now." I nodded my thanks and began my work. I stole a glance at Allen to see him laying on the bed playing with his fingers. Surprisingly enough he stayed quiet and let me do everything I needed to. After a few hours a continuous jingle of pieces caught my attention. The sound became so annoying to the point that I began grinding my teeth to keep my calm. I turned my head towards Allen to see him with his back towards me, obviously fiddling with something.

"What the heck are you doing Allen?" He looked over his shoulder at me and shrugged.

"Not much, just playing around I guess." I stood up and leaned over the bed to find little metallic pieces all around Allen. Familiar pieces and colors caught my attention but failed to connect the dots. After a few minutes of me staring at the mess curiously Allen decided to speak up. "I took apart the toys you brought me. Why the heck do you have these anyway?"

I stared at him incredulously with my mouth wide open. I shook my head and turned back to my work with a small chuckle. "You're so weird Allen. That's something I love about you."

A small gasp across the room failed to reach deaf ears.


	8. Chapter 8

**~Happy Birthday to me! I thought I would give you guys a prsent from me and post this before I left for the hospital. Yep my birthday weekend will be spent in a hospital while my sister gets brain tests :I Atleast I get to read D. Gray Man! I had such a great day haha. My friends decided to sing the birthday song to me in biology, lunch, spanish 2, and then my friends and one of their moms sang obnoxiously to me in the middle of the hallway XD Haha I brought cupcakes for my spanish class and one of the upper classmen dragged me down the hall in a hug and would NOT let go. My cousin wouldn't help me either. So mean! One of my friends also sent me 13 Hump Day pictures while I was in school XD I got crap about that all day with having my birthday on Hump Day. Haha it was a great day. Your comments almost made me cry, no lie! You guys are so sweet and that is the best present of all, thank you. I'm so glad you like it cheater boy, thanks for your support! Also thanks timcanpy's pen! I'm glad you two are enjoying it! I wish I had a friend to read fanfiction with. :I Thank you Love D Gray Man! Hehe and btw your waaayyy awesomer. Thank you Guest, I will keep this story up until the end and I'm so glad you love love love this! Thank you Laven 3, I really enjoyed reading yours hehe. I love it when you guys quote me. I like doing little group discussions over this haha. Thanks Snipperita! I hope this was a fast enough update. Thanks random guy! I appreciate your support and your comment about how I write great fanfics made my day even better hehe. Thank you bloodthirstysoul! I'm glad you love it and had fun reading it. I like it when I can make you guys laugh! Your such a sweetheart with all you have to say :3 Thank you Guest! Making you laugh on your bus was such a highlight haha, don't care what those people say. People who laugh randomly are the best people! And I'm glad you love this so much, tell your friend I said thank you please! This is a record amount of reviews haha. Thanks for sticking with me guys. Sarenghae! 3 I don't own and have fun guys~**

A small moan woke me from my slumber. I sat up abruptly and looked around to find I was laying on a white floor with books and scattered papers surrounding me. I guess I fell asleep in Allen's room.

Another moan brought my attention towards the bed where Allen was sleeping soundly. I curiously crept my way to his bedside and sat down. His face was drenched in sweat and looked uneasy. I proceeded to carefully lift the blankets off him to find that the shirt he had borrowed was completely soaked with sweat as well. I lifted the sticky shirt off his chest and rolled the legs of the sweatpants up to his knees. Allen shifted quickly and knocked me off the bed with a loud thud.

"Damn it Allen, that hurt. What is with you hurting me so much?" I growled quietly to myself and pulled myself back up to his bed. Small whispers were coming from Allen and I had to lean in to hear clearly.

"Lavi…don't touch that!" He suddenly grabbed my hand and pulled me over him to the other side of the bed with incredible speed. My eyes widened, I was not expecting to get thrown around this morning. "It's poisonous…I don't want you to die from touching it." I smiled and patted his head softly. He was referring to protecting me from the akuma's bullets. Maybe he's getting some memories back? Perhaps I shouldn't wake him then. He looks so uncomfortable though…

I decided to let him be while I went to go find some more things to bring him. I placed a quick kiss to his sweaty forehead and left the room as quietly as possible. Once out the door I made a mad dash towards Lenalee's room. I tapped anxiously until a sleepy Lenalee arose from her slumber and let me in. "Morning Lena, wanna visit Allen today?" Her eyes widened considerably large as a bright smile spread across her face.

"Are you serious! You better not be messing with me Lavi." She looked at me with a serious glare.

"I'm absolutely serious Lena! I think I should bring more people into the mix. I was thinking that to ease him into it I should bring you and Timcanpy. If your not busy that is. I don't think Kanda would be very good to bring in at the moment…" She nodded in understanding.

"I'd love to join Allen today. I miss him so much! Can I go in this morning?"

"Yeah sure. He's sleeping at the moment but we can go and grab some food along with Timcanpy. The only problem is I don't know when Allen will wake up. I think he's getting memories back but in a wrong order, mixing the people up, or is just creating scenarios." She nodded and quickly left with me.

"Cross is back so we have to go get Timcanpy from him. I wouldn't tell him about Allen yet though, I heard about what happened yesterday." I nodded and frowned slightly. Cross would be a horrible memory for Allen to brace so quickly. I don't think he'd be able to handle it right away.

"Okay, I'll get Tim and you can go get food. Get plenty of mitarashi dango and something for him to drink." She nodded and we went our separate ways.

I walked down the hallway to Cross's room slowly, not in a hurry to get there anytime soon. When I finally reached his door I pushed it open to find him sitting on a couch sipping wine. Timcanpy quickly fluttered to the door and landed on top of my head. "Cross, I'm borrowing Tim for a while." His drunken eyes slid to look at me.

"When you come back bring me more wine." He chugged the rest of the bottle and belched loudly, obviously satisfied with himself. He then reached over and pulled another bottle from an ice bucket, popping the top of quickly.

"Like hell I will." I ran out as fast as possible to make sure he wouldn't throw a bottle at me. I didn't deem myself safe until I reached a Lenalee loaded with a tray topped high with mitarashi dango. We continued on the way to Allen's room, Lenalee giggling all the way.

"Gosh this is so exciting! I can't wait!" I laughed and pulled her elbow to help guide her. When we reached the glass I quickly peeked in to find him still tossing in bed.

"He's still sleeping so be quiet." I opened the door, mentally cringing at the metallic hiss of it that seemed louder than normal. Thankfully Allen didn't stir anymore than he already was. I helped her set the food down carefully.

A flash of gold flying off my head caused me to panic slightly. "Tim! Don't!" I fumbled to grab the little golem who evaded me quickly. Before I could react the golem had dive bombed into Allen's cheek causing the poor boy to wake up with a start. He screamed bloody murder and fell off the bed with an audible smack on the linoleum.

"Tim!" A joyous squeak came from the body on the floor. He sat up and pulled the little golem into a hug. "Thanks so much Lavi! I'm so happy to meet him!" Bright grey eyes looked up at me with so much admiration I melted. His excitement filled the air leaving nothing but a bubbly feeling as it spread towards Lenalee and I. Equally huge smiles lit up our faces to match Allen's.

His grey orbs traced across the room to where they landed on Lenalee. He shifted slightly and blushed. "Hi." Her smile faltered for only a second before she crouched down to Allen.

"Hi Allen, I'm Lenalee. I'm a friend of Lavi and Timcanpy." His face lifted slightly to look at Lenalee. A grin spread across his face before he nodded.

"Any friend of Lavi is a friend of mine. Nice to meet you Lenalee." He bowed slightly at her which made her giggle.

"It's nice to meet you too Allen. We brought you mitarashi dango and orange juice for breakfast." He quickly got up, setting Tim on his head, and rushed towards the food. He began stuffing his face before he blushed and held up two sticks.

"Would you care to have any? I feel weird being the only one eating." Lenalee and I grabbed the sticks and said our thanks. Allen then pulled Tim into his lap and fed the little golem his own stick. This made Allen increasingly happy since Tim seemed to like his favorite food as well.

"Don't take offense Miss Lenalee, but I'm curious as to why you are here. I knew that Tim would be visiting me eventually but Lavi didn't tell me I would be spending time with you." He patted Tim affectionately and turned to look at Lenalee, awaiting her answer patiently. She laughed at Allen's formality and waved it off.

"You can just call me Lenalee, Allen. I am here because Lavi invited me. He said we could become great friends." He smiled heartily at her and turned his attention back to feeding himself and Tim.

"I'd very much like that Miss…uh I mean Lenalee." She smiled and ruffled his hair affectionately.

"Thank you, so what would you like to do today Allen?" Allen's brow quirked up quizzically.

"I don't know, there's not much to do in here. I bet going outside is out of the question huh? I know that yesterday was just a special occasion and that I can't go out every day. I'm a monster." Allen shrugged his shoulders nonchalantly and began eating again. Our mouths dropped when we heard what came out of his mouth.

"Allen, who called you a monster?" I threw an arm over his shoulder and pulled him back to look at me.

"Everyone in the hallways. They kept staring and whispering monster. It kinda sucks because they don't even know me." He pouted and turned his puppy dog eyes to Lenalee. "You don't think I'm a monster right?" Her eyes widened at the tears threatening to spill from those adorable eyes. Her head shook wildly.

"Never! Your such a sweetheart Allen, don't believe those people." The tears quickly disappeared and displayed a pleased face. He nodded in agreement and finished his food.

The day went by quickly when Allen began having fun. He played games with Lenalee, read books to her, and even played with her hair while I finished my work for Bookman. Tim zipped around the room and smacked straight into my head as soon as I finished my work. I turned around and rubbed my hand while Allen laughed from the other side of the room.

"Lavi! Your it!" Allen and Lenalee began throwing Allen's pillows and bed sheets at me.

"Oh your so asking for it Allen!" I dove across the bed and reached out to grab Allen. He squeaked and ducked behind Lenalee for protection.

"Can't get me now!" He stuck his tongue out and threw another pillow at me. Lenalee laughed and tried to push Allen in front of her. I winked at her hoping she'd understand my thoughts. An evil smirk crossed her face. This is going to be good.

Lenalee activated her Dark Boots and flew up behind a shocked Allen. He turned to run but before he could go anywhere she grabbed him by the armpits and tossed him into my awaiting arms. I smiled victoriously at the horror stricken face. "I got you."

Allen's face slid into a giant smirk, which actually scared me a little. A finger reached up and poked me in the cheek. "Your it!" Before I could react he had jumped out of my arms.

"Damn it Allen! Your too good at this game!" After the little cheating ordeal, Allen and Lenalee decided to team up. Lenalee scooped him up and floated up to the top corner of the room, way out of my grasp. I slapped my hand to my thigh only to realize that I'm an idiot. I had left my hammer in my room…

The torment continued for quite a long time until a voice emanated from Timcanpy. "Lenalee! Please report to my office, it's time to have supper with me." She sighed and set Allen on the ground carefully before turning to face us.

"Thanks for such a great day! I can't remember a time I had so much fun playing games. It was great to hang out with you Allen. I'll come by more often, yeah?" He didn't even hesitate before pulling her into a tight hug.

"I'd love that Lena! You're welcome anytime okay. Have fun at supper." He released her and waved her off as she left. With that Allen flopped onto the bed and played with Timcanpy while I headed out to get supper. When I returned he seemed awfully quiet.

"He's your food buddy. I'm so proud of you, you and Lena really hit it off." He smiled happily at me and began eating his food.

"Yeah, thank you so much for bringing her in here. I really like Lenalee, she's really nice. She can come in more often right?" He tossed a piece of chicken into the air that Tim caught with no difficulty. Allen clapped at his skills.

"Of course she can Sprout. I'm not going to deny you your friends." I flicked a piece of crimson hair out of my face as I turned to peer at him.

"Name's Allen." He muttered between mouthfuls of food. I laughed and placed another piece of chicken in my mouth.

"Tomorrow I'll be taking you to the bath house alright? It's really nice there and it's pretty fun." He nodded happily and finished his meal, awaiting patiently for me to finish mine. It stayed quiet for a few minutes before he opened and closed his mouth a few times. Finally he decided on what to say and spoke his mind without hesitation.

"How do you know when you're in love?" I looked at him curiously and shrugged.

"I'm not so sure myself because of the Bookman rules, but I've read about it. It's described as "an intense feeling of deep affection". **(Got this off google, do not own)** Love at first sight is often paired with it. Love is one of the hardest emotions to explain though because it can easily be faked." I twiddled my thumbs and looked down at the floor a little bit thrown off. "You have feelings for Lena right? Komui will kill you." I laughed half heartedly and continued to look at the floor. All my silent pouting kept me from realizing that Allen had shuffled closer to me and was directly in front of me. A small voice broke me from my inner turmoil and almost made me scream from the close proximity.

"Lavi…don't move." One second I was staring into the pale, nervous eyes of Allen then suddenly everything went black. The pale orbs slid closed as his perfect face inched closer to mine. Before I could react a pair of soft lips connected with my own. I felt my entire world start on fire. I couldn't move, couldn't speak, couldn't think. Hot breathe tickled my lips as he pulled back and opened his eyes. Emotions swam through them at unreadable rates as I stared.

"I'll see you tomorrow Allen." I stood up and closed the door, heading towards my room without looking back.

**~*ALLEN'S POV *~**

Rejection, hate, and hurt spread throughout me and settled into my heart. What did I just do…

"Damn it!" I threw myself onto the bed and screamed into my pillow. I seriously just kissed him and probably ruined our friendship. I'm such an idiot…I don't even know why I did that. I like him….I hate him. I quickly shook my head and wiped at the tears sliding down my face. I can never hate him…no matter how much I try.

Tears slid down my face while I pulled myself into a tight hug. It felt so wrong not to have Lavi's arms around me…as far as I can remember he was always here when I cried…I sniffled and pulled his shirt out from under my pillow. I still haven't given this back to him from so long ago.

Tears slid down my cheeks and stained the fabric. It still smelled faintly of Lavi, my favorite thing in the world. I sighed sadly, suddenly feeling stupid for acting on my emotions and pushing him towards something he obviously didn't want. How stupid am I?

I nuzzled into the shirt and cried myself to sleep, dreading tomorrow. I wish yesterday was forever, today never happened, and tomorrow would never come…

**~*Shot by Laven fans* Hope I didn't kill your feels too much here. I really tried not to! I just need a bit more drama to get to the good stuff if ya know what I mean haha ;) and if you guys are up for a lemon in the future let me know. I'll put one in if a majority of you guys want it haha. Byebye!~**


	9. Chapter 9

**~*Hi guys! I am back! Sorry for all the lateness and such. I've been stressing over school and pushing myself to work harder for the sake of my friend. I've been self teaching myself piano so I can play a piano duet for the song Musician with my friend. She's alot farther than I am and I feel bad haha. It's for D. Gray Man so all's good though. I thought I should let you know that I'm going to be caught up during basketball season. I'm going to be a cheerleader and on the dance team so it'll be very eventful. I might not update much. Anyway I should warn you about this in case you are uncomfortable with it, there will be some dangerous methods at the end of this story involving Allen comflicting injuries upon himself. Don't say I didn't warn you if you are uncomfortable. Anyway onto the thank yous! Thank you Bloodthirstysoul! I'm so glad that you like it. Thank you Laven! You make me so happy with you comments like seriously haha. Thanks cheater boy! You'll have to look and see~ Thanks Snipperita! I'm sure Allen would love a hug from you haha. Thanks ch! Love ya too haha. Ik I'm so evil with cliff hangers and you're prolly not gonna like this one. Btw I wanted to tell you that my friend laughed SO hard when she read that you called me a guy XD She calls me manly now which is cool haha. Anyway onto the story!*~**

I awoke with a scream ripping itself from my lungs. Sitting up I clutched at my heart and felt blindly for Lavi's shirt. I pulled it to my face and breathed in deeply trying to calm myself. Damn nightmares…Suddenly a metallic hiss shreds through the air causing me to jump and whip my head towards the source.

"Good morning Allen. I brought you breakfast." A smiling Lenalee comes into view with a tray full of waffles. Before she could notice I discreetly slipped Lavi's shirt under my pillow where it belonged.

"Morning Lena…thanks for breakfast but I'm not hungry. Sorry for troubling you." I throw on a fake smile and slide my hand to my stomach underneath the covers. I feel so sick…I absolutely can't eat. Even the sight of the waffles is enough to make me think of running to the bathroom. I swallow harshly and fight to keep my smile from faltering.

"Oh it's no trouble Allen." She sets the tray on the nightstand and sits on my bed. Her curious eyes wander over my face before she finally sets a hand against it, wiping away the sweat. "Are you feeling okay?"

"Yeah I feel fine. I had a night mare is all." I lie through my teeth and hope she doesn't notice. I feel absolutely miserable…The sinking feeling of the lack of Lavi's presence dawns on me causing my stomach to clench tighter. My hands unconsciously slide under the pillow and grip at the hem of Lavi's shirt.

"That's sad to hear. You look like you could use a hug." She lays on the bed next to me and holds out her arms invitingly. After a second of debating I slide into them and let her pull me to her shoulder. My head rests against her head and shoulders while my hands wind themselves around her dainty waist tightly.

"Will you get in trouble for this Lenalee?" She shakes her head and looks down at me incredulously with a small laugh.

"I'm not that dense Allen. I already know who you like and I'm sure my brother would have absolutely no problem since he knows too." A strong blush lights up my face causing her to giggle. I didn't think I'd be found out so quickly…

"Yeah I guess…" Her smile drops and she brings her hand up to stroke at the back of my head, effectively calming me. I relax and loosen my grip around her waist. All the while I close my eyes and pretend that she's Lavi.

"How about we read?" I snap my eyes open and nod, reaching over her to grab the book off the nightstand. I flip to the first page and begin.

"Once upon a time…" After a few hours I closed the finished book and set it upon the nightstand once again. Lenalee smiles and pats my head softly.

"That was a great book don't you think?" I nod slightly, not really feeling up to talking at the moment. She suddenly sighed and sat up, pulling me with her. A small gasp exits from her mouth causing me to look up from her shoulder. "I'm supposed to take you to the bath houses! Lavi told me to tell you he got caught up with Bookman today so he will not be joining you." My heart dropped even farther and I swear I could feel it in my stomach as it clenched.

""Thanks for telling me Lenalee." I get off of her and wait for her to get up. She pulls her stuff together and opens the door.

"We'll stop by our rooms so we can grab our swimsuits before we go. That way I can stay with you so you won't be lonely." I nod and slide my hand into hers as she leads me down the hall. I walked next to her in silence before she opened a door and lightly pushed me in. "This is your room so get dressed and meet me at that room." She turns me around and points to one down the hall.

"Okay be right out." I walk through the doorway and shut the door quietly. My eyes scan over the room taking it all in. Familiar flashbacks of this room echo in my head. Visions of Lavi and I sitting on the bed chatting sadden my heart even more. I quickly shook my head and began digging through the dresser for swim trunks. After finding some black ones I slipped out of my clothes and pulled them on.

My black left arm catches my attention in the mirror. My right hand slides over it while a blank expression sets itself on my face. Disgusting thing…maybe this is another reason Lavi didn't want to take me to the bath house. He hates it…I dug my nails into it and pulled slightly causing a few trickles of blood to slide down. I was about to pull them down farther when a knock on my door and a muffled voice echoed through the barren room. "Allen? You ready?"

"Yeah!" I slide a Kleenex over the blood and walk out to meet Lenalee clad in a purple bikini. Her cheeks heat up into a red blush as she notices me looking.

"This way!" She grabs my hand once again and leads me towards the bath house. The hallways all seemed to mix as one along the way, probably from my lack of attention that only lasted for a few moments. A flash of red pulled me out of my mind and my heart clenched immediately. There he is.

Lavi lazily strode down the hallway while running a hand through his disheveled red hair. Black rings surrounded the bottom of his eye signaling lack of sleep. Without thinking I pulled from Lenalee's grasp and ran down the hall towards him before he could exit out the door he opened.

"Lavi!" His body visibly tensed under his clothes causing my head to swim. I pushed my emotions down and reached out for his shoulder. His eye slid over to look at me and displayed only one emotion. Nervousness.

"Hey Allen…" He shrugged my hand off his shoulder and continued to look at me dejectedly. He glanced up at Lenalee behind me but made his gaze quickly became downcast. I could feel Lenalee's eyes boring holes into my back.

"Umm…could we talk later Lavi?" I moved slightly so that I'd be in his line of sight but he quickly turned away.

"I don't think so. Bookman's got me busy. I gotta go." He finished pulling the door open and slipped inside without another word. My heart shattered, the shards stabbing me with every breath. My hand placed itself over my heart, failing to comfort me.

"Come on Allen…" Lenalee grabbed my hand and turned me down the last hallway and opened the door to the bath house. Steamy air cascaded over my body while Lenalee led me to the water. She cringed as the hot water tingled her skin while I walked in with a poker face. The hot water didn't even compare to the pain I was feeling.

"Lenalee, can we go back soon? I don't want to be here long." I slid closer to her and sunk into the water. He hand grasped mine and pulled me into an embrace.

"Allen what's wrong…You and Lavi were so buddy-buddy yesterday and today you're acting like complete strangers." I closed my eyes and bit my lip, slowly giving in to my bleeding heart.

"I kissed him." The words lingered in the air without a sound to disturb them. The atmosphere filled with questions and shock as Lenalee tossed it over in her mind. Her soft hand found its way to my cheek before cupping it gently and bringing my head up to gaze into her eyes.

"I'm proud of you Allen." Shock scarred itself across my face. Why would she be proud? I'm disgusting.

"What the hell Lenalee…Lavi's disgusted by me." She shook her head and tapped my head with a small smile.

"Baka…don't let it get to you. Lavi's hard to follow and even harder to love. Just talk to him. I'm sure he's just confused, nobody could be disgusted by you." I glanced at my arm and pulled it behind my back slightly.

"Thanks…" Her gaze softened and she turned me around. Her hands began massaging at my stiff shoulders causing a low moan to escape my lips.

"Just relax Allen, you'll talk to him and this will all blow over soon." I nodded my head, not feeling like arguing, and let her continue kneading my stress away. It truly felt nice to be pampered a little after everything I've been through since I woke up. The edge I constantly felt in my heart was starting to drive me nuts. After a while I slipped into the blackness of my heart and fell asleep, feeling oddly safe and calm.

"Allen time to go back." I opened my eyes to see Lenalee leaning over me with a smile on her face. "You fell asleep." She giggled and helped me sit up.

"Oh thanks Lenalee." I smiled at her and walked out of the water. After that massage and light sleep I felt much better. The pain of rejection had begun to subside but it still resounded painfully within me when I thought about him.

"No problem!" She opened the doors and quickly lead me to the same room as before. "Go pick out some clothes and I'll escort you back to your room once you're done." I nodded and slipped in once again.

By the time I finished I had pulled out all the clothes in the drawers and threw them around the room. I settled on a few shirts and sweat pants since I wasn't actually in public. I slid the clothes over my body and threw the swim trunks into a hamper. My gaze once again caught on my hideous arm.

"Wish I could get rid of it…" I quickly threw off my shirt and pulled a long sleeve shirt over my chest and placed my hands into gloves. "Good enough for now…" I gave myself a once over and walked out the room to see Lenalee leaving hers clad in bunny pajamas. A small pang resounded in my chest at the sight of rabbits, immediately reminding me of Lavi.

We walked in silence as she led me to my room and stepped inside with me. "I have to go help Komui with some stuff so I'll be back in to check on you later okay Allen?"

"Alright thanks for everything Lenalee! Have fun!" She waved her goodbyes and exited, leaving me to myself. I sat on my bed and flipped through the pages of another book to pick what Lenalee and I would read next.

I quickly became bored and stared at the room drearily. I hate this room…the white walls close in on each other. White floor, white ceiling, white walls, that horrible color. I closed my eyes and sighed comfortingly at the menacing color behind them. Black. I opened my eyes and pulled myself from the morbid thoughts.

My eyes slid over to the random toys Lavi had brought me. I took them into my hands and began dismantling them again. A sharp piece of metal from one specific toy caught my attention. I pulled it out and led myself to the bathroom, shutting the door behind.

I sat on the toilet seat and fingered the small blade in my fingers. The plan in my head tossed itself around a few times before I finally stood up, satisfied with my answer. I pressed the blade to the wrist of my left arm and paused. Here goes nothing.


	10. Chapter 10

**~* HAPPY HALLOWEEN! Well day after anyway haha. I had SO much fun! I went out with 6 of my friends. 3 of us were creepy dolls (I was a creepy Alice in Wonderland doll while one doll was amish and the other was a marionette doll), another of my friends was China from Hetalia, another as a zombie, and my other friend as a glow stick person haha. We scared SO many people and a guy even shut off his light cuz he saw us coming up the street T.T it sucked haha. oh well. Thank you guys so much for your responses! I was surprised when I finally got off my friend's bed and checked my reviews. I love it when you guys give me feedback! Thanks cheater boy for your review! I feel so bad making Lavi all mean towards Allen T.T Thank you Snipperita! I hope you enjoy this. Thank you Seraphinit! Awwww ch don't cry! I feel so bad for what I'm doing to Allen but I'm glad you still love me. I kinda hate myself for what I'm doing to him. Thank you Bloodthirstysoul! I think your English is very adorable if I do say so myself haha. I don't think your English is bad at all anyway :p And thank you for what you said! It makes me feel all fuzzy when you guys say stuff like that! X3 Awww Laven! I'm so sorry that I made you cry! Thank you gracewright for your review! Things will get better as they should. I hope this chapter isn't too rushed :/ I do not own! Thank you guys!*~**

The pitter patter of droplets on the ground resounded against the walls, filling my ears. My vision swirled with forgotten images stained in red. The pretty pictures flocked into my heart where they quickly became marred by crimson. I gripped the only piece holding me to reality at the moment. Nothing will ever be the same.

"Damn you Lavi…" I pulled the metal away from my arm and stared. Red slid down my arms in a steady motion, somehow calming my ragged breaths. The black is quickly hidden with the color of red, reminding me of the way it used to be and the ridicule I got every day. I swiped a tear away with the hand holding my friend and brought it back to where I left off.

~*LENALEE'S POV*~

I padded my way down the hall smiling widely. I had a warm bath with Allen, all my work with Komui is over, and all I have left to do is visit Allen before heading to bed. I quickly made my way to Allen's room where the metallic hiss of the door welcomed me. Quietly sneaking in I peeked around. Where was he?

My gaze automatically shifted to the closed bathroom door. Figuring he was just relieving himself I sat on the bed and waited. Time slowly crept forward while the door remained shut. Nervousness filled my heart and spilled over when a small whimper came from behind the closed door. "Allen?"

"Lenalee!" Something inside fell over and a small "shit!" reached my ears.

"Are you okay Allen?" I walked forward and pressed an ear to the door. Inside I heard a thud and multiple swears.

"I'm fine Lenalee, don't worry." Something was definitely wrong. I activated my innocence and with one swift kick the door flung open. Inside I was shocked to find Allen standing in a puddle of blood gripping the sink with his right arm. A small glinting object in his right hand caused me to do a double take and stare at the nine long slashes taking up his arm all the way to his elbow.

"Allen! What the hell!" I ran over and was shocked to see Allen hold the blade to the untouched skin on his arm. His tear filled eyes stared at me with unbelievable confidence.

"Get out!" I grabbed for the blade but he swung his arm behind him, wiping blood across the side of his face. I made a mad dash for his arm and succeeded in effectively smacking it out of his hand, sending it skittering across the stained floor. "Stop it!"

Allen jumped for the blade but I knew exactly where this was going. In a quick motion I hopped on top of him and tried my best to hold a howling Allen down. Blood splashed around us at the impact. "Lenalee! Please!" I shook my head and dug my hands into the tiles on the floor to keep him from sliding forward. "PLEASE!" Tears poured down his face while he continued to slide forward with sudden energy. His shaking hand stretched towards the metal. Tears began filling in my eyes making my vision blurry. I definitely couldn't keep this up for long. Before he could reach it I made a quick decision.

"Sorry Allen." I grabbed his head and smacked the side of it into the flooring. His eyes rolled back into his head immediately. I winced at the sound and crawled off of him. The force was enough to knock him out but not seriously injure him.

Once I was sure he was okay I inspected his slashes. Blood poured profusely from them while the stench filled the air. My heart lit up in rage. I know exactly why Allen did this.

I reached over and took the towel off its hook, tying it to Allen's arm as a makeshift tourniquet. I rolled him over onto his back and wiped the blood from his face. I decided not to move him from his spot in fear of aggravating him further. Instead I took off at exceptional speed down the hallway towards the library. Somebody's going to pay.

My hands curled around the double door's handles and were quickly flung open. A startled rabbit looked up and smiled at me. "Hey Lenalee what's-" A swift smack to his face stopped him dead in his tracks. The sound cracked off his skin and filled the room with thunder. He turned his head from the side and stared at me with shocked eyes into my tear filled ones. "What the hell Lena?"

"You're an asshole! I can't believe you did that!" I got myself ready to slap him again but paused at his worried face. My hand slowly slid down to rest at my side where I curled it into a fist. "You're a fucking asshole."

"Lenalee, what's wrong?" He grabbed my hands and uncurled them from their tight fists.

"Allen cut himself you bastard! He's laying in his bathroom in a puddle of blood because of you! He kissed you! Get over it and stop ignoring him! I can't believe you could be so STUPID!" I watched as the color drained from his face. He quickly stood up and pushed me out of the way. I turned and followed him out the door to Allen's.

~*LAVI'S POV*~

Two sets of footsteps echoed down the hall below the sound of my blood pounding in my ears. I made a mad dash for the nursery to grab tools then took of to what was awaiting me. Please be lying…please by lying…PLEASE!

I pushed through the door and ran to the bathroom to find the white headed boy with his hair stained red. The puddle surrounded him and attacked him full force. My arms encircled him quickly and rushed to the bed with his light body. I slid the towel off and immediately inspected them. Nine gashes stared me in the face. My face paled and I immediately got to work on stitching them up.

During the whole procedure I pushed my emotions down and focused on fixing him up. He had stopped bleeding due to Lenalee's makeshift tourniquet which was great thinking. While I worked she got me up to pace on what had happened.

Once I finished with the final wrapping my barricade crashed and brought on the tears. I bent over Allen and let the tears flow. "I'm so sorry Allen…" My fingers twirled around the crimson strands of hair, reminding me of myself. I quickly frowned. This is all my fault.

A small shift underneath me brought me from my mental punishing. "L…Lavi?" I lifted my head from his chest and looked into his pale eyes. Tears slid down my face and a small smile played itself onto my lips.

"Hi Sprout." I ran my hand through his hair and watched his sad face. He turned his head and refused to look me in the eyes.

"Don't say anything about it." My eyes trailed to his bandaged arm. Small spots of blood became visible from below the white bandages.

"Allen, we need to talk about it." He shook his head and slapped at my hand resting on his shoulder.

"Leave me alone." The hurt in his voice covered the room.

Lenalee, sensing the tension in the air, came over to the bedside and smiled at him. "Hi Allen, how do you feel?"

"Okay…my head really hurts though." His head shifted over to look at her but refused to even acknowledge me.

"Yeah, sorry about that. I didn't know what else to do and I was worried for you…" Lenalee frowned and rubbed the back of her head sheepishly.

"It's okay, thank you Lenalee. I appreciate your quick thinking." She nodded and patted his head affectionately.

"Allen can we talk now?" He sighed and continued to stare away from me. Lenalee smiled at me and went out the door. I slid onto the bed and took a shaky breath.

"Fine…" My heart sped up at his words. This is my one and only chance…

"I'm so sorry for what I did to you Allen…I shouldn't of ignored you and acted like you weren't there. You acted out on how you honestly felt which resulted in a bitch move of mine to leave you like that. I guess I was nervous and thought running away was my best option. Clearly it was the worst thing I could do. I'm sorry…"

His head turned and displayed the tears sliding down his face. "You're an asshole…but I forgive you…this time." I smiled and placed my hand over his left.

"Thank you Allen. Please don't hurt yourself anymore…your arm is perfect." His breath visibly hitched in his throat. A small nod caused my fluttering heart to calm down slightly. "Thank you…" I leaned down and kissed his forehead gently. I watched his eyes flutter slightly before he rolled over away from my gaze.

"Yeah…no problem…I'm going to sleep now." I nodded and rubbed calming circles into his injured face. His eyes eventually slid closed as sleep overtook him leaving me to my thoughts. Time to figure myself out…


	11. Chapter 11

**~*Anyeong! It's been a while haha. I do realize that I rushed the last chapter a bit but this chaptedrI hope will more than make up for it. Thank you IAMJUSTTHATAWESOME-DEALWITHIT! I'm glad you love it! Thank you Snipperita! A koala outfit sounds so cute! I met a little girl in my home town who had a kangaroo outfit and a little joey in the pouch. It was cute! And a little skunk girl haha. Thanks ch! I love you too! Thank you Bloodthirstysoul! I'm glad you liked it and I do see what you mean. I've been so stressed with basketball season coming up that I feel like I need to get these out as soon as possible before I don't have time. Dance practice starts the 18th and I'll probably be spending most of my nights away from home for games so I'm nervous about updates haha. Thanks for the review AllenFan! Allen will try his very best to get better hold of himself. And thank you Laven! Now that you bring up the real sword I'm all like Damn! I have my own full size katana that I could've carried around with me :I Your outfits sound great too! Lots of people went as dolls this year haha. Anyway thank you for the birthday hug! *Hugs back* I love you and your friend too! And I'm down with marriage haha. Lead me to a church XD Anyway enjoy!~ I do not own sadly...If I did Allen and Lavi would forever be the fairest couple in the land...*~**

Allen is a troubled soul with a troubled past. Now that I think back on all that he's been through I realize that he reacted accordingly if not better than he could've. It'd be everyone's best wishes if he didn't hurt himself at all but I can't keep my mind from wandering to a certain action. We are damn lucky he hasn't killed himself by now. More over _I _am damn lucky he hasn't killed himself. My actions have pushed him considerably closer to this but nobody is more relieved at his actions than I am. I almost single handedly killed my best friend or who could quite possibly be my other half. Allen is weak, confused, and most of all broken. This is normal for people who have lost their memories because they feel frightened. I pushed Allen over the edge and that was wrong. It is up to me to pull him back to sanity.

My self induced wall of thoughts broke when a hand slapped mine away from Allen's face. I looked down to find Allen's eyes open and a frown firmly placed on his lips. He seemed to be very angry so I proceeded to run a hand calmly down the side of his face. He once again pushed it away and faced the wall.

"How are you feeling Allen?" He pulled his hands up to his face and ran them over it slowly. He closed his left eye and peered at me through the right. The malice in his eye shown brightly.

"I feel like shit." His hands began massaging his temples lightly. "Get me some medicine." His voice spoke with so much command I almost shuddered. I knew that Allen could get violent when he was in pain but I still wasn't used to this side of him.

I held out my hand and waited patiently as Timcanpy fluttered into my hand, preparing itself for a message. "Lenalee, I'd like to ask that some pain medication be brought to Allen's room please. Leave it outside by the door."

There was a moment of silence before a scratchy voice altered by the connection spoke up. "Okay be there soon." Timcanpy closed the message and flew off into the room. I turned my head back down to Allen to see him fuming with anger.

"Get out and get it yourself. Quit bothering Lenalee." I shook my head and stared pointedly at him.

"No can do. Last time someone left you alone you decided to do that." I pointed at his bandaged arm. He immediately became even more pissed and glared. "You're lucky I didn't tell Komui about this."

"Why should you care!" He sat up and pushed me off of him with full force. A small wince left him as his head reacted to the movement. I could already tell that the fight from last night was not going to be ending with that.

"I've always cared Allen! This isn't helping anything." He swatted my approaching hand away and glared threateningly.

"Says you! It's not like you're doing anything!" He moved his hands back up to massage at his temples.

"Are you kidding? You're only this much better because of me!" His hardened glare turned on me once again.

"This is a mutual game! I'm as much to blame for my progression as you are!" I let him sit in silence while he focused on calming his ragged breathing. He was absolutely furious with me. I decided to take another approach.

"Tell me why you cut Allen." I spoke in a calm voice hoping to reciprocate the calm tone. Allen continued to glare at me viciously but his tone was considerably calmer.

"It's all your fault. You messed with my fucking feelings and drove me towards everything." He wiped at the sweat on his forehead and folded his hands in his lap.

"I'll admit I was wrong to do so but I'm not the one who put the blade to your arm. That was all you so you can't even blame that on me." Allen turned to face me completely and raised his voice.

"I don't know what happened to me Lavi but I know damn well that it was your fault! I'm in this entire mess because of you!" Allen seethed with anger and was close to punching me judging by his clenched fist.

When Allen's words finally suck in an electric shock flowed throughout my body. My mind instantly plunged itself into the dark recesses of my mind. It was my fault…

_"Lavi! Be careful! Don't take your eyes off of her." He looked pointedly at me and gestured toward Road. "She's systematically gauging you."_

"Got it Allen. Worry about yourself kay?" He nodded his head in response and drew his sword. Crown Clown fluttered around his shoulders in white waves.

"That's cute Allen. I see why you throw yourself into the front lines of battle now. You absolutely adore this Bookman Jr. here. Too bad you're already MINE!" Road snarled out from her seat on top of Lero.

"Shut up already!" Allen went in for a strike but Road quickly back flipped, pulling Lero with her.

"Tsk Tsk Allen. You are far too eager for your own good. Let's slow things down shall we?" In a split second she was next to me and preparing to grab me by the throat.

"LAVI!" Voices simultaneously yelled my name while I took an inward breath. I had no time to move so I braced myself for the impact of Road's dream world. A split second later the crack of me hitting the ground echoed throughout the room. A scream ripped through the space and I opened my eyes to see Allen's eyes rolled back into his head. A strangled scream stopped abruptly and Allen fell to the ground face first. Blood splattered on the floor and out in all directions. Lenalee began crying furiously and running with Kanda to our side. Road smiled maliciously and looked at Allen softly.

"Well what a surprise! I finally brought Allen to his knees. Who knew that all I had to do was bring the Bookman Jr. into the game to completely break Allen from the inside out." Road gently picked up Allen's head and set it in her lap. She began stroking the side of his face with care. "He's absolutely perfect now."

"Get away from him!" Kanda slashed his sword towards Road who quickly jumped out of the way causing Allen's head to hit the floor with a cold knock. Blood began pouring profusely from his scalp.

"Get back! I'm not fighting you! I want to fight the Bookman!" Road began attacking fiercely and dodging Kanda's moves.

"LAVI! GET UP!" I tore my gaze from Allen to look at Kanda who was furiously clashing with Road. "Is the Ark gate still here!" I got up and ran towards the doorway from which the gate was opened in previously. The shimmering gate was closed and missing. I booked it back to the room.

"It's closed! Allen either shut it or it phased out when Road got to him." Kanda blocked an attack and gestured to Allen's unconscious body.

"Wake him up or we'll never get out alive." I nodded and brought myself to Allen's side. I shook him furiously and stared into his eyes.

"Allen? Come on buddy wake up." His eyes stayed pale and rolled back. I put a hand to his wrist and discovered a small, waning pulse. He was alive at least which is all that mattered.

"How's Allen holding out Lavi?" Kanda blocked an attack and waited for my answer. I tapped Allen's face again and wiped the blood from his forehead.

"Working on it!" I leaned in really close to his ear and began speaking. "Allen please wake up. We need you to open an Ark gate. Lenalee, Kanda, and I will die if you don't. Please Allen we need you to open it!" My heart rate sped up when Allen's eyes slid closed. "ALLEN! WAKE UP!" Lenalee suddenly screamed from Road's attack and Allen's breath hitched in his throat.

"Ark gate opened…" Allen's eyes snapped open and the previously dissipated Crown Clown reappeared on Allen's body. White tendrils wrapped themselves around Allen's limbs. I frantically searched Allen's eyes for any trace of consciousness but he was still out cold. He slowly began moving himself from my grasp and managed to get on his feet. Kanda heard his voice and made a quick strike to buy us some time.

"Get to the Ark!" Kanda yelled at us and struck again. I watched in awe as Allen shakily began walking towards the Ark gate muttering under his breath.

"Get to the Ark…get to the Ark…everyone get to the Ark…" Lenalee and Kanda turned to follow Allen and I to the gate. Once inside Allen turned around and faced Road.

"Close the gate!" Kanda slapped Allen on the shoulder to get his attention.

"Ark gate closed…" The gate closed abruptly before Road could issue another attack. Kanda and Lenalee quickly turned to me. Lenalee looked like she wanted to speak but was too shocked by Allen's state.

_"What the hell is going on Lavi?" I turned my head from Allen's still body to look at Kanda._

"His subconscious and Crown Clown are trying to protect us. He keeps repeating orders to relay it to his body." I tapped Allen's shoulder but he didn't physically move. "Allen take us to the piano room."

"Ark gate to the piano room…" Another gate opened in front of him abruptly and he walked through with us trailing behind. Kanda came up behind and tapped my shoulder.

"Why is all this able to happen? He shouldn't be able to control this unconscious." The gate phased out behind us and Allen took a seat at the piano.

"Allen is bound to Crown Clown with his heart. Road shattered him but there's a thin strand of sanity holding him onto Crown Clown and the Ark in order to protect us. It's only second nature to him." Kanda nodded and turned to Allen.

"Open a gate at the medical room in the Order Allen." Allen loosely nodded his head and Timcanpy opened the score. Allen began playing and the Ark lurched slightly as it switched coordinates. Suddenly it stopped and Allen removed his hands from the piano after playing a single note to open the gate.

"Ark gate opened…" His voice faded into a small whisper and suddenly everything became a race. After the gate opened Allen lost his grip on himself causing Crown Clown to fade out. Before any of us could move to grab him he fell backwards off the bench onto the floor. His eyes shut tight while Lenalee screamed. I gathered him in my arms and took off running for the gate, calling nurses before I even exited.

Once out, the gate abruptly closed behind us because Allen wasn't able to control it any longer. I rushed him onto an awaiting hospital bed where the nurses took him away. I fought my way towards him but was stopped by Lenalee. The Head Nurse shut the door and forbid anyone from entering.

"Don't get in the way Lavi. It's important you stay here and be supportive of Allen from the sidelines. He'll be okay, okay?" She smiled at me and grasped my hand. I nodded and took a seat outside the door.

A few hours later the nurse moved aside and allowed me entrance. I nervously stepped into the room to find the Moyashi asleep with tubes galore connected to him. The nurse informed me he was in a deep coma and wouldn't be waking up for some time. She calmly left the room and allowed me some alone time with him.

"I'm sorry Allen…if only I would've paid closer attention my guard never would've went down. I was so focused on keeping my mind ready for her attacks that I forgot to protect myself physically. Thank you for saving my life…" I took a hold of his hand and knelt down beside his bed. I watched his chest rise and fall evenly with every breath he took. "I promise Allen that I'll be here when you wake up. I'll take good care of you." I laid my head on the side of his bed and fell asleep.

When I woke up the next morning I was on a train with Bookman. He informed me that my time at the Order was up and it was time to move on. My heart immediately sunk. Allen's still unconscious and I didn't even get to say goodbye…

My flashback shattered when Allen raised his hand. Before I could react he brought his left hand out and back handed me across the face in his rage. I immediately knew I had blacked out and began ignoring him. He was not happy. A liquid splattered across my face. I quickly swiped it up and stared at the red liquid coating my fingers.

"FUCK!" Allen began grinding his teeth and holding his arm in agony. Blood was filling the bandages and without even checking I knew that he had reopened some of his wounds.

"Give it here Allen, I'll fix it." I took his hand in my own but he quickly jerked it away.

"No, I've got it." I reached out another hand but he growled menacingly and shot glares at me. I retreated and watched as he unwound the bandages and began rebinding his wounds.

"I thought you forgave me Allen." I spoke in a small, calm voice to not aggravate him further. He sneered and turned my way.

"I said that to get you off my case so this wouldn't happen!" He gestured to the both of us. He was talking about the fight currently continuing.

"I'll admit Allen that a majority of this was my fault. You lost your memories because of me and cut yourself because of my actions. But I will remind you, I still am not taking responsibility for your own hand." Allen grabbed me by the collar of my shirt and pushed me away from the bed.

"GET OUT!" A knock at the door made me migrate towards it. I opened it to find Lenalee setting the medicine on the floor with a worried look on her face. I turned back around and looked at Allen still sitting in bed.

"Whatever you want Allen. Take care of him." I shouldered myself past Lenalee and watched as she picked up the tray and slid in, no questions asked. The atmosphere was so tense that the problem didn't even need to be named.

~*LENALEE'S POV*~

I made my way into the room and hurried to Allen's side. As soon as he caught sight of me his breath hitched and turned into hyperventilation. Tears began to pool in his eyes while I quickly prepared the medicine. I grabbed the pills and held them out to him which he took and swallowed dry.

"Shhh Allen, it's okay. Calm down hun." I crawled into the bed and began wiping away his tears. My arms wrapped around him comfortingly. He immediately slid into my embrace and cuddled his face into my chest.

"It hurts Lena…It hurts!" I nodded and ran my hand through his hair, pulling him closer.

"I know Allen, I know. Just let it out." He furiously nodded and continued to cry. I discreetly slipped my hand under the pillow and pulled out a piece of fabric that I immediately recognized as one of Lavi's shirts. I put it up to his face and curled his fingers around it. "Here you go Allen." He peered up at the fabric with teary eyes and pulled it down between us where he buried it into his face. I continued to stroke his head and listen to the sounds of his breath trying to slow down.

Once Allen got into a better shape, I lightly pulled back and stared into his eyes. I wiped the accumulation of tears away and pressed my forehead to his. A small smile formed itself on his lips instantly.

"Lena…help me please. I don't know what to do." I nodded and tucked some stray hair behind his ear.

"Tell me what's going on Allen. You'll feel better if you talk about it." He nodded and cuddled up to me.

"Lavi and I were fighting…" He went on to tell me all that was said and all the punches that were thrown. Suddenly he stopped and took a deep breath. "Lena, he makes me so mad and confused…but I love him." I ran a thumb over his cheek and smiled lightly.

"Then what you're feeling is true Allen. Things won't get better if you keep pushing him away when he comes in to fix the mess. I'll talk to Lavi when we are done but I am not leaving this room until we talk about your recent habit." I gingerly picked up his left hand and held it in mine.

"My heart just hurt…All the pain I ever felt crashed on me and I just reacted…I didn't even think it over. It felt right Lenalee and it still does…You took my blade though and I know there isn't another in the toys so I know I can't. That's a good thing though because I know you don't like it." I stroked the back of Allen's head and kissed his forehead.

"We'll get you through this Allen. You'll be feeling better in no time." Allen looked up from the shirt he was clutching and smiled.

"Lena? How did you know I had Lavi's shirt?" I laughed and ruffled his hair.

"You hid it so fast one day that I just guessed. I think its cute that you have it." Finally a melodic laugh left Allen causing my smile to widen.

"Thank you Lena, I love you." He tilted his head and pressed a small kiss to my cheek. I immediately returned the action and settled down into bed with him.

"I love you too Allen."


	12. Chapter 12

**~*Anyeong! I'm back with another chapter hehe. I'm so happy I had the day off so I could do this for you lovelies~ I kept getting distracted by Vine and Youtube cuz gosh they are so addicting :I Your guys putting up with me is awesome. You guys are too cute honestly haha. Anyway thank you Snipperita for your review! I realized not many people would get the whole shirt under the pillow thing but a few chapters ago Allen took Lavi's shirt off in his sleep and didn't have a chance to give it back. Plus where I'm from everyone lives so far apart that we often keep things from the person we are dating cuz it smells like em haha. I got the idea from a friend who took her boyfriend's shirt with us on a music trip to Missouri XD Thank you AllenFan! It means a lot when I get such nice reviews. Thank you Bloodthirstysoul! You're awesome tooooo! Thanks Laven! First: I love that you loved the last chapter haha. Second: Thank you haha. Third: Awww thank you~ You're a sweet heart too and waayyy awesomer haha. Fourth: Haha yay! Fifth: Aww tell her I say thank you as well~ Sixth: You be happy too! Seventh: HUGS ALL AROUND! Eighth: X3 Haha well that sure was fun XD Anyway have fun! I do not own because if I did it would honsetly be centered around Allen and Lavi forevers. *Rereads everything I just wrote on this* Damn I say "haha" a lot :/ I need to fix that XP *~**

I cuddled with Allen in bed until he finally slipped into unconsciousness. I carefully untangled myself from him and tucked him into bed. He instantly cuddled up to the blankets and pulled them around his face. When I was sure he wasn't going to wake up I snuck out of the room.

"Keep an eye on him please? Don't restrain him unless absolutely needed. We don't want him to hurt himself further." The finder nodded nervously and took a seat by the glass. I made sure he was up to date on what to do and quickly migrated my way towards Lavi's room. I pushed open the door to find him taking up the space on his bed and reading. His head shot up quickly at the sound of the squeaky door.

"Lena! What are you doing-!" I held my hands up in a placating gesture to hopefully calm him down.

"Don't worry I didn't leave him alone. I made a finder sit outside and keep an eye on him. I'm responsible you know Lavi!" I stuck my tongue out at him and made him laugh.

"I know Lena, I just got nervous." Lavi slid over on the bed and offered me a place to sit.

"Why thank you. Allen told me what happened Lavi." He visibly stiffened but turned to face me.

"That's no surprise. It was pretty rough but he needed to get it off his chest. I'm kinda glad he yelled at me. I have a better idea of how he feels now. The only reason I left was because I didn't want to aggravate him further." He closed his book and rolled onto his back so he could face me.

"I don't think that is the only reason Lavi. I know you too well for you to be able to lie to me so easily." He softly chuckled and ran a hand over his face.

"Yeah I guess you're right. I underestimate you too much sometimes." I nodded and put a hand onto his.

"Allen told me something interesting." Lavi visibly paled and stayed silent. "He said you make him angry and confused." He frowned and nodded in agreement.

"Pretty much sums up our entire relationship at the moment." He chuckled lightly. "Exact on actually." I slapped him lightly on the hand.

"You didn't let me finish Lavi…he said he loves you." Lavi instantly stiffened and looked for a hidden lie in my eyes. I stared at him with complete truth shining in my eyes.

"Are you serious? He's the one who yelled at me to get out." The indecisiveness shone brightly in his features.

"One hundred percent Lavi. He's upset with you but there's more to it than just you. When you rejected him all of his memories of pain he felt hit him like a wall. It's true you pushed him towards his new addiction but he really did it because he felt overwhelmed. What would you have done if an entire lifetime of pain washed over you at once?" Lavi stared at me with utter shock.

"Really…I need to go fix this." He quickly got off the bed and was about to run before I grabbed his hand.

"Whoa, whoa Lavi! Not so fast!" I pulled back quickly causing him to fall back on the bed. "Allen is still unbelievably pissed at you. He cried himself to sleep after conveying all his feelings to me. I think you need to figure out something to do to gain back his trust." He nodded and sat quietly while we both thought. Suddenly he spoke up so quietly I almost missed it.

"What if I kissed him?" I looked into his eye to see he was completely serious.

"Why would you want to do that Lavi? You're the one who rejected him the last time. That would just be leading him on and it's not right to Allen." Allen's feelings are the most important thing right now. I am NOT going to let Lavi ruin everything Allen has.

"Well…I've been feeling something for Allen for quite some time now as I told you last time…but it's gotten a lot stronger. I think I love him Lenalee." I sighed sadly and began to stroke his hair.

"Then why did you reject him Lavi? You're not making any sense." He sighed and held his head in his hands.

"I know but I was nervous. It was so sudden and unexpected I just froze. I had no idea what to do and wasn't completely sure of myself yet. Plus who wouldn't be shocked at Allen making the first move. I seriously would not have expected that in a million years." I laughed slightly and slung an arm over his shoulder.

"I see what you mean now that you explained yourself. I think you should tell Allen that. It might do you some good ya know? If I were you I would also do your previous idea. Get on his good graces first though okay?" He nodded and pulled me into a full hug.

"Thank you so much Lenalee! If I didn't know better I'd say you are our guardian angel or perhaps Cupid." I broke into a big grin and laughed along with him. The sudden brightness in his eyes was a beautiful sight. Things would definitely work out from here.

"No problem, now get going! You're sleeping beauty awaits you." He laughed and quickly ran out of the room. I chuckled and followed him out the door. I have a good feeling about this.

~*LAVI'S POV*~

Before making my way to Allen's room I decided to make a quick run to Jerry. I figured I'd get Allen a present and if anyone knew where to get what I wanted it was Jerry. Upon arrival he quickly directed me to the place of my desires.

Bright sunlight greeted me as I stepped off the path into a field. Bright colors emanated from the fragile flowers that seemed to wave hello to me in the wind. The sight was beautiful, almost as much as Allen. I began wandering around picking the best flowers for the best person in the world. I grabbed handful after handful trying to pick the brightest and most beautiful flowers. I finally settled on my rainbow bouquet and made my way back towards the Order.

I walked in and began jogging mechanically down the hallway almost as if on autopilot. I didn't even have to look because of the familiarity and the countless times I had wandered this way out of nervousness. Allen didn't know this but ever since I began avoiding him I'd sometimes sneak down this hallway. I did it multiple times but most times I would stop myself before I would get into view. One time I dared to go far enough. At the time Allen was laying in his bed staring my direction with a blank look on his face. Tears streamed down his cheeks but he didn't seem to notice me. This was the night that I had left him and I came to check on him only to find an empty shell. I remember contemplating going in there to check on him or not but I just couldn't bring myself to. I watched until he rolled over, shielding himself from my view.

The metallic hiss of the door snapped me out of my thoughts and I brought my attention to Allen staring at his ceiling with a pensive look on his face. He didn't seem to hear the door so I tightened my hold on the flowers and opened my mouth.

"Hey Allen, I wanted to apologize." He looked over at me curiously and immediately zeroed in on the flowers in my hand. At the sound of my voice a hint of rage flashed through his eyes but the sight of the flowers caused it to disintegrate.

"Are those for me?" I nodded and rubbed the back of my head sheepishly. He smiled lightly and looked at me with sad eyes. "You can come closer." I nervously walked up to the bed and sat down in the chair beside it.

"I'm sorry for hurting you Allen. I shouldn't of reacted the way I did. Lenalee explained to me why you did all this and I honestly can't believe I was stupid enough to not realize that. It's so painfully obvious that all your memories of pain would come back. I'm really sorry." I held the flowers out and smiled as he took the bouquet from me. He gently twirled a petal in between his fingers and turned to face me with a small smile.

"I'm sorry too Lavi…I overreacted. No matter how mad I am I can't be mad at you for long…The flowers are really pretty by the way." He laughed and pulled them up to his face to smell.

"I'm glad you like em. Jerry told me where to go to get the best flowers. He was completely right too. When you're better I should take you there so you can see it for yourself. It was the most beautiful flower field I've seen in a long time." He nodded his head and set the flower bouquet on the night stand. He flopped his head back onto the pillow lazily and began rubbing his left arm.

"I'd really like that. Thanks for this Lavi." He turned his head and smiled an ear-to-ear smile at me. I smiled back but continued to let my gaze drag to the arm he was rubbing.

"Does your arm hurt Allen? I can get you some pain medication if you'd like." He shook his head and stopped rubbing his arm.

"No thanks, the bandages just feel funny. Don't worry about it." He flashed me a blinding smile but I knew better than to believe Allen when he denied something. I decided to watch him carefully.

"Okay well someone else wanted to visit you. He's been worried sick." I reached into my pants pocket and pulled out a golden ball that I didn't originally invite with me. The little monster snuck into my pants at some point in the day knowing I'd see Allen eventually. He quickly began uncurling his wings and flung himself at Allen.

"Tim!" A smile erupted on Allen's face and he hugged Tim to his cheek. The little golem jumped around in Allen's hands happily at seeing his master. After a minute of hesitation I crawled onto the bed and laid beside Allen. He didn't object and even let me play with Timcanpy's golden wing. When Tim ditched Allen to chew at my hair I noticed Allen began tapping his fingers on the bed. His face became scrunched up in a determined expression.

"Okay seriously Allen, what's up with all this rubbing and tapping?" He looked over and smiled sheepishly at me.

"Will you tell on me?" I shook my head and started feeling wary about his next words. Nervousness bubbled up in my chest at what was to come. He seemed to read my mind and quickly cleared things up. "I didn't do anything else. I just am kinda feeling withdrawals." He shifted nervously and looked into my eye. Realization hit me like a brick.

"Ohhhhh I get it now. You had me nervous there for a second Allen. Care to explain how big of withdrawals? I can help you if I understand." He nodded and began.

"I feel itchy all over and I can't keep my fingers from shaking. All I can think about is that blade and the feeling. I've even been contemplating between giving myself paper cuts but I know Lenalee would be upset with me if I tried. I promised her I'd quit." I nodded in understanding and stuck a hand into my pocket. I pulled out a red marker and handed it to him. Confusion lit up his face.

"I read somewhere that if you feel the need to cut then draw with a red marker where you feel the urge. You'll eventually be able to resist it." He made a sound of understanding and uncapped the red marker. The horrible stench filled the air. I watched silently as he traced horizontal lines across the rest of his left arm that was untouched.

"I can't see it." He scrunched up his face in annoyance and lifted his shirt. Small red lines appeared on his muscular stomach as he continued to trace. The lines got longer and longer until they were spreading across the mass of his stomach from side to side. I tore my gaze away from his hand to look into his eyes. They were trained on the marker tensely.

"You weren't kidding when you said you felt withdrawals. Will I have to take the books?" Allen jumped and looked at me as if he forgot my presence.

"Yeah…that'd probably be a good idea." He shakily put the cap back on the marker and set it on the table. He took a deep breath and closed his eyes.

"You okay Allen?" It would be an understatement to say I wasn't more than a little nervous. Allen's condition will be harder to treat, especially with all the memories popping up.

"Yeah I just needed to get a hold of myself. I'm good, thank you." He opened his eyes and smiled brightly. "I think that method will help me out a lot."

"I'm glad to hear that. You can keep that marker okay." He nodded and flashed me another brilliant smile. Without warning a hand slipped into mine and Allen became serious.

"I wanted to say that I'm sorry for pushing myself onto you. I forgot to think about your feelings. It completely slipped my mind that you wouldn't feel the same as me. I guess my head was a little clouded by all the special care you were giving me." Allen's' face radiated nervousness. His eyes were so sad but determined at the same time.

"Actually Allen I wanted to talk to you about that." Allen's head tilted up curiously and I almost lost it right there. He was so adorable I almost couldn't keep myself calm enough to speak.

"Okay don't be shy. I'll answer any question you'd like." I nodded and swallowed nervously.

"Okay well…I don't know how to say this…Um…" Allen began rubbing my hand encouragingly with his thumb. I took a deep breath and made a split second decision.

"Screw it, close your eyes."


End file.
